Were you to live 3,000 years or even 30,000, remember that the sole life which a man can lose is that which he is living at the moment; and further more, that he can have no other life except the one he loses. This means that the longest life and the shortest amount to the same thing. For a passing minute is every man's equal possession, but what has gone by is not ours. Our loss, therefore, is limited to that one fleeting instant, since no one can lose what is already past nor yet what is still to come - for how can he be deprived of what he does not possess?
If that is really true, and I think I believe that it is, then I shouldn't be wasting one single minute. I should be dreaming, planning and then actually doing what fills my heart. We should be living our dreams right now, as opposed to waiting for the perfect time or situation. That may never come and then I will be 60 years old instead of 30, thinking about what could have been instead of what should actually be.
I guess the question is, how do I make my dreams a reality? How do I life the life I want while also accounting for the fact that I want to have another child desperately. IVF is expensive and my pregnancy is not one that I can cover minus insurance. Adoption seems like a long shot if we are totally living outside the "norm." I don't know if my soul can wait to get going with life until I have another child, but I know that my soul cannot be full without at least trying for one more.
Who knows what the days will bring. I am so thankful that I am at least dreaming again. :)