But...I know that's not real.
He is growing and evolving minute by minute...and it is good. Truly good. Every day he learns something new and delights in sharing that knowledge with me. He asks magical, insightful questions. Questions that make me think and questions that challenge me. He tells jokes that make me roll, and then tells them again and again...and again. Because if once was funny, why not ten times? And it almost is funny every time, if only because he laughs. He sings and he shakes his booty and he creates. Oh, how my boy creates. LEGOs, dirt sculptures, blocks, play dough, stories...magic. And his love? It shines. It's like a tornado: fierce and reckless, unexpected and earth shattering. It is nothing less than an act of God and it is poured out on me like nothing I ever realized was possible.
I have to add that I know life isn't really and truly going to end when he grows up. I have God, my husband and a beautiful community of friends to share joy with. I will still be John's mom and, with God's blessing, someday I will be a Grandmother too. Some days are just more melodramatic than others :)