Do you ever just feel like you need to do something else, be something else, go somewhere else? Do you ever feel like you are forgetting something that is vitally important but you just can't put your finger on it?
That's how I have been feeling lately. Not dissatisfied with my life in any way, just feeling like I am missing something that really must be done.
I think part of it is our RV dream. I wish we could just go, now now now. I know that it isn't feasible or responsible, but I am so scared that if we wait we will find reasons not to do it. What if we never feel like we have enough money? Should that really stop us? I mean, as long as we can take care of the basics and have something set aside for emergencies, isn't that all we really need? What if something happens to one of us in the next 2-3 years and we spend the rest of our lives worrying about what might have been? I have never really been a carpe diem kind of girl, but now that I am trying, I feel like life is holding me back and saying "not yet, just a little longer."
I am also longing to get more information on Waldorf and Unschooling practices. I have been reading a ton of blogs, which are so valuable. However, I feel like those families already know what they are doing on their journey. How in the world did they get their information? How far behind am I? Am I going to get this right? I have found some wonderful books online and even a few workshops, but everything is so costly. Our libraries, the local and the city ones, have virtually no information on the alternative schooling that we are going to be following. It is such a big responsibility to go against every single socially accepted education standard and say, I KNOW in my heart I am right. Now I need to know in my brain that I am right, and I need to get some of this information to do so.
Also, I have been going back and forth on the etsy front. I don't know if it is really worth the effort. Should I make a post with some samplings of crafts and stuff? Maybe people would be honest and tell me if I have a shot? Are there other ways to sell your goods? I am shooting in the dark here people. I need to find some ways to make extra moolah to get us started on some of the above goals, but I am totally at a loss on where to start.
Anyway, all of this is invading my brain. I need to go take a hot bath and meditate and then get some scheduling done. John is still chattering in his bed an hour after I put him down. It is both funny and frustrating. At least he isn't yelling for me :)