I know that I said in my last post that my chest was hurting physically, but to be honest it has been hurting figuratively too. I have been trying to just smile through being blue, but some days that is harder than others.
I know that I should have done Wednesday Wishes yesterday, but I felt like it would have been forced and that isn't what I want this blog to be about. I want this blog to be about my truth.
So really today I am just going to offer a quick perspective on marriage. It is hard, so hard sometimes that it is easy to see why people jump ship. But marriage, my marriage anyway, is something worth fighting for. It is worth shedding a few tears for, because the good times outweigh the bad 10 to 1. It is worth talks late into the night about what needs to be fixed and hugs and promises and reminders of why we are in love. But boy, is it hard.
When we got married we took a marriage class ahead of time. It wasn't in depth and it wasn't one of those classes with a test and evaluation. It was just Josh and I talking with the man who married us. He gave us some really valuable advice that sticks with me every day. I am paraphrasing, but the main point to me was that marriage and love are a choice. There are going to be days when you wake up and you are angry and tired and maybe a little defeated, but you have to choose to work on it. Love isn't always going to feel the way it did in the beginning, it isn't always going to feel like butterflies, so you have to choose to love the person you are with. I am so thankful that I chose Joshua and that he chose me. I am thankful that we choose to spend our lives together and that there is no other option for us except to be together. But still, it is hard.
So I guess I just have to realize that it is ok to feel down and I know that tomorrow will be better. I am grateful that any issues we have are ones that can be easily remedied. I am most thankful that I love my husband and that I know he loves me, that makes everything else possible for me.
This really isn't a post for the blog, it is a post for me...I guess a lot of them have been like that lately. In fact, it is almost embarrassing to admit the things that I have written, but I am struggling to be true to myself in every way and that means opening myself up. So....I don't know why I posted this, but it feels good to get it out.
I've got loads and loads to talk about hard a relationship (things I never share on my blog). Nektarios and I-well, there has been a lot of well, things going on in since the beginning. If you want to email me and talk about things...I am here.
ReplyDeletei hear ya. a lot of times i put up posts (like mine yesterday) for me--not really for anyone else, but i figure maybe someone else is going thru it too. maybe we can help each other, encourage each other...
ReplyDeletemy sister married her high school sweetheart and theyve been married 14 years or so. ive seen their ups and downs and while im not married (or anywhere close to it) i think i really like your idea of it. i think youre right- its a choice and you have to work at it every single day. im glad you found it and that he loves you back. thats enough to make me smile today! :)
ps feel free to email me ANY time about anything. im always here if you need me!
You're not alone, girl! I think it's the normal cycle of marriage! Gotta go thru the bad to enjoy the good! One of my favorite quotes is "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times...always with the same person." And it's so true! There's so many times I just wanna punch him in his face and so many times I want to just RUN AWAY. But then there's times I look at him and think "He's SO perfect for me!!! What would I do without him???" Before I got sick, we about divorced (& separated) at least 5 times in the two years prior. Hang in there! If you ever want to talk, I'm always here! Sending you big hugs!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo -j
P.S. I looove that you found that Katherine Center quote picture on the left of your blog!!! I need to save that! Love it!
Thank you for such an honest and open post! I know we are all in the same boat as some time in our relationships! I struggle too! We all do~ Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLots of love!!
~Tiffany
I heart you!!! No marriage is perfect, every one has its ups and downs. Always remember tomorrow is a new day!! We've all been through it at some point, I applaud you for being so open.
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Lindsay
Blogs are cathartic :) Don't tell yourself that things can't feel the same as they did in the beginning though. Well, butterflies - maybe not - you know him to well for him to make you nervous... but the fun! Be fun, be silly, don't make it all about the kid all the time. It feels selfish, I know, but it's the glue that holds your family together!
ReplyDelete