I went to Starbucks this morning with John and it was very busy. John found a big comfy chair that another boy was sitting in and thought he would like to sit there too. The boys mom said it was ok, so I stood in line and watched John interact with this mom and her son. He was in a very excited mood, we were on our way to a playdate, and was super chatty. When they left, he walked over to another family and started chatting with them. I had walked over by this point and the lady was laughing and said something about how she hoped he wasn't getting any sugar or caffeine in his drink because he sure didn't need it. Whatever, it was true but still somewhat annoying. Then I was grabbing our drinks and he was standing next to me talking and fidgeting. This lady walked by and said something about how I really had my hands full.
Do people not realize that saying things like that is insulting. I mean, first of all he wasn't misbehaving at all. He was just a happy, talkative boy who didn't want to stand still in Starbucks for 15 minutes. Secondly, he is two and a half... people, including myself sometimes, seem to have totally unrealistic expectations of what small children should act like. Thirdly, keep your f-ing mouth shut about my kid. I am a mama bear and I will not hesitate to lash out at absolutely anyone who hurts my child in any way. He hears comments like that. He isn't deaf and he isn't dumb. You don't know him or me, so just keep it to yourself. He's not perfect, but he is wonderful just the same.
On another note,
I joined a forum about Waldorf homeschooling, I can't remember if I mentioned that before or not. I was asking some of the parents about Waldorf toys and feeling a little nervous because John isn't all that interested in homemade items. Seriously, I read these Waldorf and Unschooling blogs and these kids love anything wooden, knitted or otherwise homemade. My son likes tractors, cars and toy animals. I was feeling sort of threatened about his fitting into a Waldorf Inspired/unschooled "mold." One of the moms, and I really should thank her, responded with a comment about how the toys he play with aren't really going to define his education. It doesn't really have to look a certain way. If I follow the philosophies and theories behind these educational/life practices we will be ok. It might not make sense to other people, but it felt like such a huge weight off of my shoulders. It snapped me back into the reality that John's education doesn't have to look like everyone else's to be successful. I don't try to conform with "normal" society, so I shouldn't be so worried about trying to conform with "alternative" society either. I just need to focus on what feels right for my family and let the rest fall away.
Anyway, I know these things probably aren't interesting to 99% of blog readers. I don't honestly even know it anyone still reads this blog. However, I really am trying to start writing about the things that are important to me and letting the rest take care of itself.
If you did read this and you are still here, then Happy Thursday to you!
Photo via Weheartit
I *heart* you and I totally read the whole thing (it wasn't that long!)
ReplyDeleteEvery time I read about your schooling choices it is so inspiring because my sister is pretty much the antithesis of you and though I obviously don't know John it just seems like he is a more adjusted and approachable little guy. My nephew is totally a product of commercialism is it makes me want to puke.
You know I applaud your efforts and I know how it can feel to try to conform to alt. groups too...sometimes they are just as standoffish.
Anyways...I's so glad you are back to blogging because I love reading these!
1: This is your maiden voyage being a mommy. Expect to be unsure about EVERYTHING and expect to take offense to EVERYTHING.
ReplyDeletePeople expect kids to be zombies. They're kids, their freedom and spirit are beautiful things. Yes, there are times that they need to behave and adapt to their surroundings, BUT they don't need to adapt because random persons A or B are annoyed. I don't know if people stopped saying things to me, or if I just stopped hearing it - or maybe seeing 3 or 4 little ones, they're surprised that they're not WORSE! Who knows :P
I love your homeschooling plans and all, but letting the boy do what he loves will save him from being one of those weirdo recluse home school kids, lol! At least he'll always be able to converse with random non-Waldorf kids about cars and tractors!
Keep up the great work K! I've got a book you can read about terrible parents that'll make you feel a LOT better about your skills.
im reading! :)
ReplyDeleteim glad your back!
I am reading too~ I don't have any tips on parenting because I am not a mom~ But I always read your blog and think "Wow, she is an incredible Mother!" I love that you are not doing things just like everyone else, you are simply exploring and finding things that work best for him. I don't think I will ever become a parent but if I did, I would be looking to you for advice, for help and for strength! You are amazing! I always appreciate your honesty and openness. I wish I could be that way in my own life more!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being YOU!
ill be interested to hear more about this whole homeschooling thing. :) my sister homeschools her 3 kids--as a teacher its kinda cool hearing about.
ReplyDeletealso- can i please bitch slap those people for you? people sometimes say stuff about my sister's kidos when im with them and it makes me so angry! okay, maybe her kids at the moment are acting up, but do you really NEED to say something? and when they're not acting up and people just feel the need to make a rude comment, it takes all my strength not to lash out. yea- theyre kids- the dont sit still like we do and yea they like to talk, why is that a problem??
I'm reading! :)
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts about these things and how you do things because it's so different from what we do and I LOVE learning about it all! I admire you for sticking with what you want for John! I love how creative you are and all the fun you guys have too! ;)
Hope you and your cutie family have a wonderful weekend!!!!
I'm reading Katie - also, I get ALL.THE.TIME! the 'wow you must have your hands full' just because I have 4 so close in age. I just say 'if you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!' It turns it into a positive and my kids know that I'm not 'put out' by them being loud, rowdy, or just being there! LOL!
ReplyDelete