Unkamama

Coming to close

2011-10-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

So, we are on day 10 of our cleanse. Five days of raw and five days of juicing. It's been really good, although way too expensive for us. We got produce for the 5 juicing days and it was about $160. That is usually our food budget for almost two weeks. Soooo, we can't really do the reboot exclusively after today. For the next five days we are going to try and eat mostly fruits and veggies, with nuts and beans mixed in. I am going to work to stay away from sugar and processed foods. It is soo worth it. I feel great and I have lost 11 pounds in 10 days. I have energy and just generally feel better. So that's the diet. I will probably post pics in about a month, once the exercize and diet have continued to pay off. Luckily, we are getting cooler weather here in AZ, so it will be much more pleasant to exercize out side.

I have been really productive craftwise this month. I made John an countdown to Halloween calendar. Each square is a little pocket for a small surprise. I designed it and embroidered all of it, and I love how it turned out. I got the idea from a Pottery Barn catalogue, but there is no way I was going to pay Pottery Barn prices.

Each day I put a small surprise in for John.

I made small fall faeries for the first day. I haven't really gotten pictures of the other things, but I also made him a small crocheted pumpkin, a pumpkin mask, a set of finger puppets, a small painted jack o' lantern and a few other things. He is so excited to go check the calendar every morning :)

I took pictures of some of the other fall crafts, but apperantly I forgot to load them onto my computer. I will post them soon.

Days 2 and 3

2011-10-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

I am three days into my Reboot now. Day 2 was rough, but not quite as rough as I thought it would be. I was a little nauseated and tired, but that was about it. Today I woke up and was pretty nauseated and had a headache, but those went away about 9am and haven't come back. While I was cooking dinner I realized that I had a lot more energy than earlier in the day. I think that we may have gotten over the worst of the detoxing.
I really meant to take pics of the food because dinner last night was soooo good. Green veggie soup and acorn squash stuffed with portobello mushrooms. There were lots of leftovers, so that helped with the prep today.
Tomorrow we have two juices instead of just one. The morning juice is supposed to be this Mexican-style Jugo. It is cucumber, cilantro, jalepeno and something else. I had to draw the line, I can't drink that. So Josh is going to have that and I made a kale and fruit green juice. I want to be healthy, but not badly enough to puke up cucumber juice :)

...and so it begins

2011-10-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

Today we started our Reboot. I had prepared almost everything yesterday, which was good because we had some errands to run. We were able to put everything into a big cooler for lunch, and we dragged it to Starbucks so that we could eat with Josh. I am sure we looked strange with our giant cooler, but it felt good to eat something healthy while we were out instead of Rubio's or Chipotle.
I will admit, it is going to be a challenge and a major learning experience for my taste buds. I am a really bland eater, so green juices and crazy soups/salads are a stretch for me. But I am going to do it with gusto, even if I have a grimace on my face :)
So today's plan was:
Breakfast - baked apples and raisins - John didn't even want to eat it because it was too "squishy." Josh and I thought it was decent.
Morning Juice - Green Juice with Kale, Cucumbers, Spinach, Celery and apples. It was actually pretty good.
Lunch - Salad with a homemade mustard/vinagrette dressing and raw carrot/avocado/ginger soup. It was too much food, but it didn't leave me satisfied for long.
Dinner - Steamed veggies, more soup and a pear (which I saved for later)
***This isn't supposed to be one of those diets where you deny yourself food. The good thing about fruits and veggies is that you can consume lots and lots of them without tipping the caloric scale. Unfortunately, veggies aren't usually my idea of a good time, so my appetite runs out before I get enough food. I know that will change with time though****
aaaand, here is the rough part...the pictures. This is me now...

Not entirely sure why John looks like he is resting on my butt, I think he just wanted in on the photo action. At least there is something cute to focus on :) Sweatpants and rain boots, can you dig it.

So, one day down and going strong

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

2011-09-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

I get sick....a lot. It seems that lately I have been on a constant stream of antibiotics, antidepressants, sleep medications, and pain medications. I think so much of it stems from the fact that my diet is so unhealthy. Not the vegan part, that's not to blame. It's the LAZY vegan part. Carbs and sugars, comfort food and processed food...it's a problem and I know it. I lost around 60 pounds after I had John and went vegan. Since moving in with my dad a year and a half ago I have gained every pound of it back.
So, that is all just an intro to say that Josh and I are done with that. We watched a documentary called, wait for it...Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. The movie is about a guy who is unhealthy and overweight, He decides to go on a 60 day juice fast made entirely of fruits and veggies. Along the way he travels around and talks to people about his diet and their diets, as well as the changes happening to him. It was amazing! In under a years he was off of his medications and living a completely different life. Now, we won't be doing 60 days. I think we are starting off at 10-12 actually completely juice days, with a 5 day raw intro. We start the intro tomorrow. I am about 60% excited and 40% terrified. It is going to be a huge test for me, but one that I think may change our lives. The point is to detox and the retrain your body to crave fruits and veggies. Obviously, after the fast/cleanse, we will transitions beans, nuts, and other foods back into our diet. Hopefully, we will eliminate our dependence on processed foods, even if they are foods that I cook myself.
I figured it would be cool to document the journey here, so that's what I will do. I think tomorrow I will even post some before pictures so that I have something to look at in two or three weeks and see what happened.
For today though, here are some pics of what 5 days worth of produce looks like for two people.
***John is obviously not going to be Rebooting his diet. He will be able to drink the juices and get the nutrients, but he will do that on top of his regular diet. I am definitely not experimenting on him :) ***

I know that this is probably not going to be read by very many people, but here is the website for the Reboot diet, if anyone is interested.

Magic

2011-06-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

I have never been a huge fan of Radiohead. I like some stuff, but I usually feel like it is kind of arty and self-indulgent. Then I discovered In Rainbows, which is TOTALLY "arty" and I cannot get enough. I have had this cd on repeat for days. I love every track, but something about Nude stands out.

It literally makes me feel like the world is falling away and I am just floating in the most perfect way.

I am entranced.

A Song of Fire and Ice

2011-06-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

So...I am usually not all that interested in "fantasy" or sci-fi novels, but I stared this series this last month. I am on the fourth book which means I am like 3,000 pages into this series in under a month. I cannot stop reading, and I sort of want to! I am not even going to summarize on my own because the story is vast and intricate. Here is a summary from Wikipedia (dubious information at times, but this is accurate)

The story of A Song of Ice and Fire takes place in a fictional world, primarily upon a continent called Westeros but also on a large landmass to the east, known as Essos.[5] Most of the characters are human but as the series progresses other races are introduced, such as the cold and menacing Others from the far North and fire-breathing dragons from the East, both races thought to be extinct by the people of the story. There are three principal storylines in the series: the chronicling of a dynastic civil war for control of Westeros among several competing families; the rising threat of the Others, who dwell beyond an immense wall of ice that forms Westeros' northern border; and the ambition of Daenerys Targaryen, the exiled daughter of a king who was murdered in another civil war 15 years previously, to return to Westeros and claim her rightful throne. As the series progresses, all three storylines become increasingly interwoven and dependent on each other.

The story is told in chapters that jump back and forth from different characters point of view. It is an interesting way to tell the story because as you get excited about one characters story line the author moves to another. I have found myself skipping ahead to find out about someones situation more than once.

Anyway, I have strep throat right now and am hoping to finish the fourth book as I recover, which may be the only upside of strep throat :)

The Woods...

2011-05-31T19:16:00.000-07:00

I got a new tattoo for my 30th birthday. I spent a lot of time deciding what I wanted, but in the end I just went with the words that have stood out to me for so long. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" has a stanza that almost burns through me...
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.
I don't really know what Frost hoped to convey with this poem. I mean, I can always speculate and imagine, which is one of the great aspects of poetry, but the meaning that is important to me is the one that I have made.
I suffer from pretty serious depression, and it has played a part in many turbulent times in my life. I got this tattoo to remind me that though the depression may be lovely, dark and deep (and, to me, sometimes the solitude and magnitude can be lovely in its own unhealthy way) I have promises to keep and so so so far to go before I could ever imagine giving in and letting depression take over.
I hope I can look at this tattoo for the rest of my life and feel exactly that way I do about it right now.

My Name Is Katie

2011-05-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

John and I

This is me, the biggest part of who I am... a mother. I am more than a mother, but this is the part of my life that brings me the most unadulterated joy. Of course, it is also the hardest part of my life, the scariest, the silliest, the most emotional...It is everything.

I started this blog over a year ago, and I let it go about three months ago. I just didn't have anything else to say anymore. Lately though, I find myself wanting to turn back to the blog and the connections that I made here. I find myself wanting to express myself here again. We'll see :)

My Head is Spinning

2011-02-22T21:31:00.000-08:00

Whenever things calm down a little bit life seems to throw us a curve ball. We are moving...quickly. My dad's house sold at auction a week ago and we got notice that we have to be out in two weeks, actually a week and 5 days. That means that I have to pack our apartment and help pack my dad's house, which has about 30 years of accumulated stuff. We also have to find and secure a rental house to move into. We are all very excited at the prospect of a newer, larger house but this whole process is pretty stressful.
So, I guess things may be quiet at Unkamama again...

Look Mom!

2011-02-17T18:35:00.000-08:00

We went on a nature walk/park trip today and John wore his awesome haedlamp that is 32 sizes to big.

I love that he looks like a kid, not just a baby. I miss the days when he was so small, but these days bring me so much laughter. He says the most random things ie, "Why does she want to ride on a disco stick?" How does one even answer that?

I saw this little pill bug and we stopped to say hi. We put down a stick and the "friend" climbed on, which allowed John to get a closer look. He was so gentle but he wanted to take his new friend with us. I had to explain that we couldn't take him away from his family. We ended up making three trips back to see the little guy.

A few feet further John said, "Look Mom, another friend!" It was an ant that also climbed up onto a stick for inspection.

John looked at it for a few minutes and then said "Mom, he loves me."

How rad is my kid with his baby dreads. They formed completely on their own, and yes, I do wash his hair.

Painting a gift for daddy's birthday.

We had such a wonderful day again today :)

10 Randoms

2011-02-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

Here are ten random things that I am loving/thinking/doing/dreaming...

1. Josh and I have been watching this show, Everest: Beyond the Limit, on Netflix. It has renewed my crazy passion for all things having to do with Sagarmatha. It inspired me to start reading and dreaming about a trek to Base Camp. I have no desire to stand on the summit of Everest, I don't ever want to "conquer" her. I really just want to bask in her presence and beauty.

2. John has started saying "I Love You" about 100 times a day. There is literally nothing better than hearing him call from another room, "Mom....I Love You." He does it for no reason and it completely fill me up when my reserves are low.

3. Josh and I are taking a financial planning class. I hate all things having to do with money. I wish I could barter and just remove myself from the process. I might actually be a little afraid of it since it has been such an issue for us. The bottom line is that we are assholes with our money and have to learn to save and be a little wiser. Josh is about a month away from a promotion, which would mean we are about 6-8 months away from getting a place of our own. If we want it to actually happen we have to be able to stick to a budget, so off to class we go

4. We sold our second car, so we are a one car family. John and I have been walking to the grocery store and a few other places. We have also been sticking closer to home, which slows down the pace of our day in a way I had been dreaming of. It feels good to keep simplifying.

5. Josh turns 30 on Saturday!!! I am about 3 month behind him. I think we are going to plan a night out drinking and laughing with all of our friends in mid-April. 30 feels like such a milestone and for some reason I am truly, deeply excited. I joke about 30-anxiety, but it feels like such a concrete step into adulthood, one that I am happy to take.

6. I found this movie, Barry Munday, and it is my new favorite.

7. My dreads are kicking ass. I need to take a picture of them, but they are locking and have a few beads and junk in them. I love them. I love that they set me apart from all of the other stay at home moms in my area.

Uhhhh, I can't think of anything for 8 through 10. I am going to go back to my book and wait for Josh to come back in so we can watch our show :)

Today I Felt Infinite

2011-02-15T17:27:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had a moment, actually several minutes, of perfection. How beautiful it is when every single aspect of an experience is exactly right and I just get to bask in the joy of it all.
We went outside after dinner and John was playing with a few matchbox cars creating a little story for them. Josh and I were listening, but not involved. Then John said my some of my favorite words..."Daddy, come play with me."
***John is sometimes a bit standoffish with his dad. He spends all day with me and Josh is gone a lot for work. As a result, John doesn't want his dad to do things with him some of the time.***
They got on the trampoline and I got to watch my husband be a daddy. Not just a father, someone who provides and lays down rules, but a daddy who loves his boy in ways he doesn't always think to show. They bounced and I sat in the shade. The temperature was so perfect, probably 70 degrees. It was that time of day/evening when the light is perfect and makes even our dried out backyard seem glorious. It was just...infinite. Perfect beyond words. I hesitated to get my camera because I didn't want to miss even a second, but I also wanted a tangible representation of this memory. Here are a few pictures that I snapped, they may not look all that important to you, but trust me...they were.

I feel that I should explain this shirt, which is pretty much the trashiest thing Josh owns. Its sleeves are cut off, and even though it has a flag, it is actually from the strip club he went to for his bachelor party. I think it is hilarious, but thankfully he only wears it when working on cars.

2011-02-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness! Things have been so insane here at the Ventura house. Here is the short version of events since mid-Jan.
1. Josh got the flu...bad. He was so exhausted that he passed out twice and ended up in bed for like 4 days. 2. We got to go to this amazing cabin that one of his clients owns. They are so generous to us and let us go by ourselves for the weekend. Pics below
3. I signed up to do my first craft show. This was especially scary because I don't carry stock of anything. Everything I do is custom, so I had to make EVERYTHING before the show.
4. I got the flu...bad. My mom took John for two days and my dad took him for two. It was doubly horrible to be sick and be heartsick missing my baby.
5. John got RSV and was also incredibly sick. Luckily, the universe cut us a break and John waited to get sick until I was moderately better and could take care of him.
6. Once he got better his temper and moods were absolutely out of control. I spent 5 days in tears and frustrated dealing with whining and temper tantrums that I have never experienced.
7. John snapped out of it and I had 5 days to craft almost everything I needed before the crafts show that took place on Feb 12th.
Soooo...I haven'thad a chance to do much of anything, let alone blog. I am so excited to get back to our routine and have some adventures to share. Josh turns 30 on Saturday, so we are having a date night. John started potty training today, which is a big old step off of a cliff because I have zero idea what I am doing :) He is excited though, and I love seeing his little tushy in underpants.

Here are some pics from the last month, including the craft show.

The Unkamama Crafts Table :)

Sick mama, Sick Baby, Happy Cat

Hugging "Frosty"

Snow Angels

A small taste of this gorgeous cabin

Fort Building at home :)

I hope I get to post more regularly again now that things have calmed down.

New Offering Photos

2011-01-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

Under The Sea Felt Board

2011

2011-01-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't really made any "goals" for 2011. However, I have really been thinking about what I would like to see happen in 2011. Not really specific actions that I have a set path to accomplish, more like destinations that I hope to reach by some path or another. I don't know if that really makes sense, but I know that it all feels different and less structured than the resolutions that I usually make and forget two weeks later.

Here are a few...

1. I hope that my Waldorf ideas really start to pull themselves together and that when Johns turns three, or somewhere thereabouts, we have a rhythm set up to help him thrive and grow. That isn't to say that I want to put off his success until March :) Just that I want Waldorf to be a real, essential part of our lives by then. The good news is that I have his whole time with me to grow and learn along with him.

2. I hope that this group of mama friends I have recently connected with becomes a strong support system for both John and I. These are woman who have so much to teach and share and I just think they are wonderful people. I am so thankful that we are going to be gathering on a regular basis for full moon celebrations and other gatherings to celebrate this world.

Plus, look how much fun my little man has with the other kids :) He's the one with the vagrant hair if you couldn't tell.

3. Along the same note, I hope that I continue to keep in touch and evolve friendships with the other amazing people I met in 2010. It seems like I have known some of you forever (Rikki, Courtney) and I just feel so much more full since I have you in my life.

4. This one is a little more concrete...I hope that Josh gets his next promotion and that we can get our own place again. I have been longing to have a place to put things and to have a sanctuary to teach and create in. I love living with my dad and I will be forever grateful, but we are ready for the next step.

5. I hope that I can continue to build this inner peace. I saw snippets of it in 2010. I did better in 2010 than in many of the years prior, which is funny because we lost so very much. The good ews is that we gained so much more than we lost, and I hope we can continue along that road.

6. The most important one...I hope that my family stays healthy and that we continue to love each other in the fiercest way possible. We have bumps in the road, but in the end these two boys are the most real gifts this universe has ever given to me and I hope that I can continue to treat them as such for the rest of our lives.

So...that's my 2011 in a nutshell :)

The Post With No Name

2011-01-06T18:17:00.000-08:00

Here is the story...
A few weeks ago I started going to see a lady to "talk." I guess people would call her a therapist, but that sounds so pompous and self absorbed to me. " Oh, I am going to my therapist..." blah blah blah. But the truth is the truth and that's what I have been doing. I have been on antidepressants since I was 15, that is just under half of my life. They do their job, but lately they haven't been doing their job well enough. I didn't want to go and up medication and keep on covering up whatever is going on, so I found this truly wonderful woman to talk to.
I know, I know, isn;t there someone I can talk to that doesn't require payment?? I truly wish there was. In fact, that may be one of the single greatest wishes of my life right now. I wish I had a best friend. Not my husband, not my family but a best friend who would just talk to me straight up and love me no matter what...but, I don't. Over the course of the previous few years I managed to push almost everyone away. I just completely closed in on myself. The good news is that I am fighting that instinct, and have been fighting is successfully since January of last year. In the past months I have met and befriended some amazing women and I consider myself blessed to be a community with them. Still, I want that one person. I had it, but it was a horrible, messed up relationship is some ways, and we both just had to walk away after years of friendship. So, I am still searching for that person.
In the mean-time I am "talking" to this woman and it has been one of the most liberating things I have ever done for myself. When I first met her I said, "my life is so full of blessings and I have so many reasons to be happy, so I want to learn to BE happy." Not just for a day or a week, but truly content and happy. I was just totally unable to do that because I was weighed down by my own bullshit. It has been the most amazing thing to speak my truth and then just be able to letting it go. It's like by putting it out there I can see what is real and what is my own drama/insecurity/anxiety and then I can make real decisions and leave things behind.
So, that is my truth right now. I am seeing a therapist (grimace) and I am so thankful that I took that step.

A Bit of Handmade Christmas and a small update to my craft blog

2011-01-03T12:27:00.000-08:00

I said I would post some pictures of a few of the things I made for Christmas and I am actually following through :)

Some small I Spy bags. One has Christmas lights and the other has small cowboy items. John was actually surprisingly interested in these.

I am proud of the way that this one turned out. It is a spiral that he can trace with his finger or guide a marble though the groove. It is meant to help calm and focus someone, namely a child, as he or she silently works through the spiral. I worked the groove with a drill press and then watercolor painted the wood.

Here is the finished product of the felt board. He loves it. We play farm and add animals or hide them behind the barn.

I found a template for this teepee on someone else's blog. I don't want to be a beast, but the template was crap. The measurments she provided didn't work, so I had to fudge everything a bit. Nonetheless, I like how it turned out and John is happy with it.

I made a few things for other family members too, but I forgot to get pictures. Hopefully I will be able to get a few soon.

Also, I added a few items to my crafty shop. Some of them are items here, but there are some new earrings as well.

What the heck happened to December???

2011-01-02T18:06:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, I can't believe it is January already. I don't think I posted a single thing in December, I was just so busy. To be honest, I just haven't been doing anything with blogs much lately. My crafty business has been having some small success which is keeping me busy and happy. Between that, Christmas and life, things are just full right now. I am not complaining though because that is so much better than having days that just drag on. I go a little stir crazy when I don't have things on my to do list.
Anyway, I know I need to post some pictures of Christmas and the crafts that I made. I will also be making some changes to my blog. I have just completely lost interest in things the way they are. I need to do something to draw myself back in because I miss the interactions.
Anyway, I hope everyone had an awesome holiday season. I am really looking forward to the calm that comes after all of that craziness.

Christmas Crafties

2010-12-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

One of the things that I decided to make John for Christmas is a felt board. Josh says he remembers them from Sunday School, but I am not sure where I got the idea, as I never really did Sunday School. Anyway, mine are a little too heavy to attach to the felt without help, so I added small magnets to the back. My dad works in a machine shop so he cut me a really thin 18x18 inch metal board that I am going to cover in light blue felt. Now John can play farm to his hearts content. I think I will keep adding characters and scenes depending on his level of interest. Here are the one I have whipped up so far. I am really proud of them because I did everything by hand.

I could not get the tractor to upload correctly...boo.

I Hope

2010-12-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

Josh and I watched a documentary a few weeks ago called Shut Up and Sing. It's about the Dixie Chicks and the controversy that took place after the lead singer made some comments about then President, George W. Bush. Now, I have been open with everyone about my left leaning politics, and I was very open about my distaste for Mr. Bush, so maybe that tempered my view of the situation with the Dixie Chicks. But after watching the documentary I was so infuriated at how they were treated and the crazy shit that took place over a pretty, i think, innocuous comment. Anyway, after watching the movie Josh and I found the cd that the Chicks recorded after the incident and bought it for $4.99. I have to say that I am not a country music fan, AT ALL, but I love this cd. I have been listening to it on pretty heavy rotation for the last few weeks.
I think that their stance of finding grace in a horrible situation, but not being ready to forgive or forget is really powerful and feels true in my life. I like the title track, Taking the Long Way, because it reminds me of how Josh and I aren't following the path that a lot of the people we know choose to follow but we are equally happy. There is even a song about infertility. (Two of the group members battled infertility and had to go through IVF.) It's not a topic that comes up much and it is obviously so close to my heart. It brings me to tears almost every time I hear it. I posted the lyrics to one of the songs because I think they are so beautiful.
It's call I Hope...

Sunday morning, I heard the preacher say

Thou shall not kill
I don't wanna, hear nothin' else, about killin'
And that it's God's will
Cuz our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They're gonna be like us
So let's learn from our history
And do it differently

CHORUS:
I hope
For more love, joy and laughter
I hope
We'll have more than we'll ever need
I hope
We'll have more happy ever afters
I hope
We can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope

Oh Rosie, her man he gets too rough
And all she can say, is he's a good man
He don't mean no harm
He was just brought up that way
But our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They're gonna be like us
It's okay for us to disagree
We can work it out lovingly

For I hope
For love, joy and laughter
I hope
You'll have more than you'll ever need
I hope
You'll have more happy ever afters
I hope
And you can all live more fearlessly
And you can lose all your pain and misery
I hope, I hope

There must be a way to change what's going on
No, I don't have all the answers, but
I hope
For more love, more joy and laughter
I hope
you'll have more than you'll ever need
I hope
You'll have more happy ever afters
I hope
We can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery,
I hope I hope
and we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope
I hope
I hope

Happy Friday All!

Advent V2

2010-11-30T18:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's Advent Activity

I got this suncatcher kit at Hobby Lobby for like a buck. I totally remember doing these as a kid!

So intent on making a big mess :)

The finished product :) (Don't mind the trashy Volvo in the background. Josh is trying to make some extra money buying Volvos and then fixing them up and selling them.)

Besides the Advent Activity yesterday was a supremely productive. I love days like that!

I made a big batch of caesar dressing from V-Con. I thought it was going to be so great based on my taste test, but I HATED it. I choked down my salad in total disappointment. I also baked bread and pizza dough, baked a pizza, made homemade pesto with Basil from our garden and baked muffins. Aaaand I finished an order and cleaned the apartment. Hooray!

Advent Countdown v1

2010-11-28T18:52:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of our Advent Celebration. Above is a picture of the start of our advent "countdown" calendar. It doesn't have any numbers yet, I just didn't have the time, so this is the basics. He will go in order, starting from the bottom left, and draw one card per day.

Today's card...

I put a little basket of ornaments out for him to place on the tree. He was so sweet about it, studying each one. Then he put them all on the same two or three branches :) He was very attentive to decorating until he came to an ornament that lit up. After that he abandoned decorating and just started searching all of the ornaments until he found ones that lit up or made noise. He confiscated each of those and told me that he was going to take care of them :)

The finished tree...minus the topper. My dad said we have to wait until Josh gets home because decorating the tree is a family job and he has to be a part of the finishing touch. Sometimes my dad melts my heart a little.

Advent Calendar/activites

2010-11-22T20:12:00.000-08:00

In some of my wanderings through blogland, I have come across families who use advent "calendars" as a way to countdown to Christmas. I guess for some this advent has religious and spiritual backgrounds, a way to celebrate Jesus's birth. For me it is going to be something different. Christmas is a holiday that I look forward to as a time for tradition and love. However, we don't have many traditions in my family. I long to have traditions with my children that we can look forward to and celebrate from year to year. I think that having our little advent adventure every day will be one of those things and it will be a fun way to count down to what I am sure will soon be John's favorite holiday.
Here are the things that John will be pulling out of our calendar on each of the 28 days.
1. Decorate the Christmas Tree
2. Make glitter cards
3. Pinecone hunt
4. Pinecone birdseed feeder
5. Christmas Book - Maybe The Night Before Christmas...whatever I can find used I guess :)
6. Set up our Christmas Train
7. Paint a shirt for a picture with Santa
8. Visit Santa
9. Small Lego set (gift)
10. Make a cottonball beard and felt hat
11. Make a Christmas snowglobe with a baby food jar
12. Handprint painting
13. Watch Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
14. Visit a tree patch
15. Make a plate for santa
16. Go see the snow
17. Matchbox car (gift)
18. Make a salt dough ornament
19. Go see holiday lights
20. Make Christmas cookies
21. String popcorn garland
22. Make paper snowflakes
23. Make a gift for daddy
24. Make a gingerbread house or gingerbread man
25. Letter to Santa
26. Slippers (gift)
27. Pajamas (gift)
28. Peel carrots and bake cookies for Santa and reindeer

I still have to make our advent "calendar" to hold these activities and gifts. I have the cutest advent garland that is little knit stockings and mittens, but I don't think it will hold everything. I am thinking that I will probably just get some paper bags and decorate them, but who knows...I may get more creative.
I will post pictures as I work on these projects :)

Sometimes I Wonder?

2010-11-20T21:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder...what is my identity, really? What is the most defining characteristic of who a person is? Is it race? Gender? Sexuality? Is it my job or spouse or being a parent? Is it all of those things and more?
I mean, if I had to list the things that I define myself as, I would say...
1. Mother
2. Wife
3. Daughter
4. Vegan
5. Liberal
6. Pagan

I am sure the list could go on and on if I really thought about it, but I look at it and I have questions. The first three things are all defined by my relationships with other people.What if, by some horrible occurence, those things changed? Would I lose my whole identity? The last three have only reeally come to be in the last 3 years. Who was I before that? Am I still that person?
I guess I wonder because I really love this me. I love this person that 29 years has helped me become. I want to keep growing and changing, but I never want to leave any of these factors behind. I just want to grow this list and grow myself.
If you had to list the top five characteristics of your identity what would they be??

A Long Rant

2010-11-12T18:04:00.000-08:00

I know that I have been fairly open about some of the "alternative" parental decisions Josh and I make, but right now I want to really share some of the reasons.
1. We raise John as a vegan - I chose a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons. To me it is the only way that I can live that supports my beliefs. We chose to raise John in the same manner for two reasons, one is health. John will have the amazing benefits of never having consumes cholesterol, a much lower sodium and fat intake and far fewer processed foods than most children his age. We also chose this lifestyle for him because, as his parents, we have to make his ethical and moral decisions for him until he can choose for himself. It would be so foolish of me to say that it is ok for John to consume animal products when I absolutely believe the opposite. What kind of mother would that make me?

2. We don't allow John to watch television or 99.9% of the movies out there. I say 99.9% because he does have a box of Scholastic books on video that we watch about once a week. Along with this, we don't allow him to own branded, commercialized or tied in merchandise. - First of all, let me say this, he doesn't NEED them. John has plenty of toys and clothes. Secondly, advertising and marketing to children is disgusting. Businesses are preying on children's desires to have fun and to love. These companies count on the fact that children fall in love with their characters and then sell them cheap, disposable toys until they can find something else to make kids love. Third, almost all toys in the typical market today, ESPECIALLY those that have media tie-ins have almost no educational or imaginative value. Small children like John learn and grow through using their imaginations. That is just not possible when a toy is designed to imitate something that a child has seen on tv or when the toys talk and act things out leaving no real room for imaginative development. At least with his tractors, Legos, cars, wooden toys, etc he has to come up with scenarios for them to be involved in. He builds them carwashes, garages, barns, silos and workshops.

3. We don't let John "cry it out" - It just doesn't feel like the right decision for our child. The same goes for spanking.

4. I don't force him to do things just because the books or other parents tell me he should be able to - John is 2 and a half and he isn't potty trained. Do I think my son is smart enough to be potty trained, absolutely. Does he want to go on the potty, no way. I flat out refuse to force him to sit on a potty at scheduled times, it doesn't help me and it doesn't make him "trained." It works for some parents, it doesn't work for us.

Along with these four decisions, he will be homeschooled/unschooled. He will attend church services with his father while learning pagan spirituality from his mother. He will sleep in a crib until he decides to move to a big bed or outgrows the crib and he will have long, crazy hair.

Now, and here is a little rant (I know, hasn't it all been a rant so far), is it reasonable to say that Josh and I may reevaluate a decision at some point? Maybe we will decide that Disneyland is something he just shouldn't have to miss or that there is a great show on TLC that he could learn from. Do we have that right? YES, we are his parents! Does anyone else have a right, just because they are related or babysitting or well-meaning? NO! We do these things because we believe in them and we think they are best for him. No one else can do that for our child as well as we can.

We don't make these decisions to hurt people or to make it difficult for them to have fun with John. We don't do them because "extremism" sounds fun and romantic. We certainly don't do them to get back at anyone or to prove that decisions they make are bad ones. Nope, we just want to raise our child the way we feel is best.

So, if you have a problem with the way we are raising our kid then Fuck Off!!!! He is ours, not yours. If I decide to put him in nothing but pink clothes for the rest of his life then I will do it. If we decide to sell every non-wooden toy or change his diaper until he is 15 then that is what we will do. I am sick and tired of people who "care" making us feel like we are doing something wrong.

Happy Day and A Funny Quote

2010-11-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days when I feel so blessed and happy to be me. I know, we should have those everyday, but who really does?
It started yesterday when one of my awesome blog firends emailed me and asked me about making her some handmade goods for Christmas. Of course I said HECK YEAH!!! I am so excited to make her a customized gift and help her put a smile on someones face. Her order also made me realize that if I want to start selling goods I need to get my butt in gear and update my little blog, so that is high up on my list of priorities. If you are interested in seeing what kinds of things I make, take a look here :)

Today Joshua and I were talking and we decided that we want to throw a little holiday party. We have literally NEVER thrown a real gathering, other than John's birthday, in the 11 years we have been together. Oops, I guess we did have a wedding, but I don't know if that counts. So we are going to have our friends over to our house and have a bonfire, some vegan treats and booze. Soooo excited :)

Then I went to my new friend Leah's house. You know how sometimes you meet a person and you just know you are meant to be friends? That's how I feel about her. Actually, this is the second AWESOME lady I have met recently that I just feel so excited to have connected with. Anyway, John and I went to her house and hung out for a few hours with her and her cool kids. John is totally obsessed with her boys. As much fun as he had, it just felt so good to be able to sit and talk for two hours and laugh.

This afternoon John had an appointment with a pediatric surgeon. It was just for a little hernia, but I was feeling very nervous at the thought of him having surgery. Anesthesia is something that scares the crap out of me. Well, we went to the appointment and she said the type of hernia he has really has no risk associated with it. It is totally safe to just watch and wait. If it ever hurts at all and we want to have it fixed then that is an option later. As for now, not surgery for my boy!

Random John quote of the day..."Mom, you are jacking my style." I almost fell out of my chair when he dropped that one on me. (Backstory: one of my awesome family members shared the Black Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow with John. In his mind they are saying Boom Boom Plow, and we all know how much he loves tractors. Any song about plowing must be great, so we had to listen to it 756 times today. In the song she says something about jacking her style and John picked it up.)

2010-11-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

I posted pictures last night of John Trick Or Treating, but I didn't post this story.

We live in a really conservative town, very religious and judgemental. I am used to dealing with a lot of criticism and judgement from various religious groups. I think that is a big part of why I have such a chip on my shoulder about religion. When we went trick or treating, we knew that A LOT of the homes in our neighborhood would be off limits because Halloween fell on a Sunday. I can understand that and respect it. However, when we went to a house that was lit up, and VERY decorated, I watched the woman slip this pamphlet into my two and a half year old son's bucket. Right away I figured it was religious, BUT the house was decorated with skeletons and witches so I figured I must have the wrong idea.

When I got home I found a religious tract published by an "evangelical" company. Here is a little idea of what I saw inside.

Now, let me just say that normally I might find something like this slightly amusing in its absurdity. The problem is that this person gave this "christian" flyer to my child. Thankfully, I saw it and caught it. Thankfully, he cannot read. Thankfully, he has no idea that this even ended up in his bucket. This woman should also be thankful, because had he seen this and become upset, she would be suffering a wrath of shit from a VERY angry and protective mama.
I don't understand how this woman can decorate and hand out candy, allowing her children to enjoy the holiday, but try to take the fun out of my child's night. I don't understand what kind of rationale allows someone to think it is ok to hand this to a complete strangers child. If she had given it to me I might at least have a small amount of respect. As it is I am just baffled and pissed.
What do you think? How would you feel? I know I have some awesome Christian friends on this blog...what do you think about doing something like this?
Here is the link for the site that puts these things out if you want to read the whole flyer.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0011/0011_01.asp

What Can I Say??

2010-11-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

When I started this blog in January, I started it for a lot of reasons. Probably the biggest being that I was looking to make a connection with people. At that time I felt like I was sort of drowning is self doubt and uncertainty. I was really questioning who I was and who I wanted to be. Since then I am amazed at the course my life has taken. I have been reading and talking and discovering, and I have realized who I am and who I am going to be. I have been working at becoming the person that I want, instead of just sitting around and letting life pass me by. I have been taking risks and meeting new people, amazing people who I feel so blessed to have in my life. I feel like I have hoestly been connecting with people and letting them see who I am, flaws and all. I have been taking risks and dreaming bigger dreams, something that I had questioned if I was even capable of doing anymore. I just feel better and happier than I would have ever dreamed possible less than a year ago.
I guess the only downside is that I have been neglecting my blog and the connections that I have made through it. The people that I have met through this blog have inspired me to be strong and keep moving. You showed me that I have worth and that I can be interesting just by being myself. I thank you so much for that.
I have been debating, since at least August, whether to keep this blog alive or not. I think it would be such a shame to let it go. So I am going to keep it, sporadic as the posts may be. I am going to allow myself the freedom to post what I want, when I want. I love reading everyones blogs and even if I never get another comment, it is pretty amazing to have a little time capsule of this journey I am on.
Here are a few pictures of life right now :)

John was a farmer for Halloween, and daddy decided to dress up as a farmer for work that night :) John loved Trick or Treating, particularly saying, "Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet"

My dad turned 60, so we had a few pictures taken.

You can tell that John just totally adores his Pappy. I asked Josh why he looked so stiff in the pictures and he said, "To be honest, I was just really worried that my shirt was going to get dirty." So typical :) I guess when you don't have much for dry cleaning you have to make sure stuff stays clean.

I guess it's pretty obvious that I adore my dad too. I feel so lucky to call this man my father.

But this is the man who has captured my heart and given me love and life as I know it.

What I'm Lovin'

2010-10-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

Hey All,

So once again I have had a little hiatus. Nothing bad has been going on, in fact everything has been really wonderful. Since I have been feeling full of happy thoughts, I thought I would share some things that I am loving right now!

The weather is finally getting cool enough that we can venture outside during the day. John had a doctors appointment and we took him to a train park afterward. He LOVED the train ride, making it impossible to get a good picture :) Notice how gnarly my dreads are right now? They are getting tightened up tomorrow :)

Pumpkin Patches! Although, the tractor was a MUCH bigger hit than the pumpkins. Luckily, you don't have to pay to get into that part of the patch so we can go back over and over...and over.

I love how John is getting so independent. He isn't scared to do much which is both thrilling and terrifying for me. I try very hard not to let my fears keep him from exploring. The downside, a few minutes after this picture he fell from that exact rung, which is about 4 feet off of the ground. Luckily he wasn't badly hurt and quickly told me he wanted to do it again.

Crazy hair :) We are trying to grow it long and it does some wacky stuff.

These bangs! Remember how I just said we are growing it out? His bangs were in his eyes all the time, so we got them trimmed. Now he looks like a mix between Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber and Ringo Starr. It makes me smile every time I look at him :)

Amanda Palmer is currently rocking my world thanks to Miss Courtney!!! LOVE!!!!!

Florence and the Machine has also been on heavy rotation. Lungs (the cd) makes me dance around no matter what I am doing.

Knitting!!!! I have finally started to learn and have successfully completed one head wrap for my dreads and half a scarf. I still need to learn so much more, as in I only know one stitch but I am still so excited.

The local chapter of this organization is organizing a lecture/gathering about adoption in Phoenix on Nov 6th. This is a subject that is very dear to my heart, but one that I find so overwhelming. I am anxious to go and finally be able to wrap my head around all of the information.

I just love it.

Do You Ever

2010-10-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

Have so many things to share and talk about that you get overwhelmed? I actually have so much that I think I might just avoid sharing it at all and start fresh from square one :)

I hope everyone is enjoying the start of fall as much as we are. I will be back later with a real post and some pictures. I need to do some cleaning right now :)

Vacation

2010-10-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

I know that my previous post was sad but I also wanted to make sure I posted some pictures from our vacation.

Here It Goes...

Driving to San Diego. John was sooooo good, but he missed the memo about sleeping in the car.

He was awake the whole time.

Walking out of the hotel and down to the beach

Playing in the sand. It was pretty chilly so we didn't get to stay for long.

LEGOland!!!!

It was so cool to go on the rides because John thought that he was actually driving a Jeep.

It was so amazing to see him full of excitement and wonder

Uh Oh, A lion ate mama

I know this picture should make me feel a little sad but it actually makes me laugh a little every time I see it.

Something about his expression melts me.

This was probably his favorite part of the day.

He talked alll day about flying his helicopter.

I love his unexpected smile in this picture.

John and Daddy walked up one of the sand dunes in CA.

I think it is cool that John looks like he is all alone in the Sahara Desert.

There is our vacation in a nutshell. I may write another post about how fun and challenging it was to travel with a toddler.

Not Really Prepared

2010-10-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

We went on vacation this week and got home last night. While we were unpacking my dad's cat Louie (also known as Lucifer) snuck outside. I saw him and went to put him back in the house, but hesitated. Was this really our cat? This cat was so thin, Louie was a big fat cat. This cat was so quiet, Louie would have fought me picking him up. It turned out that it was my dad's cat, just a really sick version of my dad's cat. Between Saturday when we left and Wednesday when we got back he had become an entirely different animal.
I immediately asked my dad what was going on and he said that Louie hadn't been eating much and that he was keeping an eye on him. I think because he was with him every day he just didn't see how drastic the change was. I went into our apartment and started to cry, Louie was dying and nobody realized it.
By this morning there was no doubt, and when I took him to the vet this afternoon I thought he almost passed away in the car. It turns out that he was in kidney failure and so my dad and sister had to put him to sleep. John and I were there, though not in the room, because we had taken him to the vets. My sister was so upset, but I felt so much peace about the decision because I had seen how much he was suffering through the course of the day.
After we left and got into the car, John started asking where Louie went, and that is when the business that I feel truly unprepared for started.
I honestly didn't know what to tell my two year old son. I am not religious and I don't believe in heaven, so I told him the most peaceful thing I could think of. I told him that Louie went to go live in the sky where he would be able to feel better. John told me that he was going to have to be careful not to fall. I thought, "well that was easy."
Then my dad got into the car (we had to go back and get my sister's car because she was too upset to drive herself home.) John told my dad that Louie went to live in the sky and my dad told him that Louie was in the sky living with God. John then asked, "Who is God?" "Will he make Louie better? Will Louie want his food again?"
My poor dad had no idea what to tell him about God. He knows I am not a believer and didn't want to step on any toes. I had no idea what to tell him because everyone in his life except me are believers and I don't want to rob John of the chance to decide for himself. In the end we told him that he would learn about God later. He brought Louie and the sky up about 25 more times throughout the evening. He never seemed distressed, just curious about what happened. He even asked me if God was going to fix Louie with a saw and a drill. Children are so honest and open, but I wasn't prepared fr such thoughtful questions.
I guess I really need to start figuring out what Josh and I are going to tell John so that we can present religion to John in a well rounded, unjudgemental and comfortable way. Religion is such a hot button topic in my home since Josh is a Christian and I am probably what one would consider a Pagan. The thing about it is, I have been avoiding religion for so long due to my distaste for my experiences with Christianity, that I really need to solidify my beliefs so that I have some ideas to share with John. I am totally comfortable with him learning two points of view and deciding for himself, but I need to make sure that I understand what my point of view is.
So, it was an eventful, sorrowful and thoughtful day. I have a cloud over my heart for Louie but I do know that he was suffering and release was the best option for him.

A Wizbang Good Day

2010-09-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days when I feel like we spent every minute doing something. It doesn't seem like we have those very often, even though I would really like to spend more time REALLY living. So I am just content and full today.

We got up this morning at 6:15, which may not seem too early for some, but for an insomniac like me it is pretty freaking early. We ate a quick breakfast and then pulled John in his wagon down to our local park.

When we got home I cleaned up a little and the boys played with Duplos. Josh built John the cutest elephant.

Then John and I made blueberry muffins.

After naptime John and I went outside to play. He wanted to wash his gator and then we pulled out the pool and fantastically trashy fringed umbrella. (That umbrella was at my mom's house when she bought it. It may be ugly, but John and I get sooo much use out of it because it is light enough to carry around easily.)

We ended up playing out there for over two hours. Then came inside and went back out into the front yard to play. Needless to say, John fell asleep instantly when I put him down.

Not much substance to this post, but I am full of joy and just had to share it :)

Happy Thursday!

Fall Crafties

2010-09-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't been doing a very good job of documenting my crafting lately, but here are a few pictures of some of the latest goodies I've made for John.

Two gnomes, two pumpkins and a toadstool for our fall nature table (if I ever find a place to put the fall nature table lol). I got the ideas and patterns from Twig and Toadstool, an awesome crafting and Waldorf blog.

I made these little pumpkins for a 5 Little Pumpkins fingerplay

5 little pumpkins sat on a gate

The first one said, "oh my, it's getting late."

The second one said, "There are witches in the air."

The third one said, "well, I don't care."

The fourth one said, "let's run and run and run."

The fifth one said, "isn't Halloween fun!"

Then WHOOSH went the wind

and OUT went the lights

and the five little pumpkins rolled out of sight.

John has been enamored of these guys and really likes to help me say the rhyme.

John and Daddy built a LEGO firetruck, so I made this little felt building and flames so John could put out the fire.

I have to get started on holiday crafts soon. I am going to attempt to make almost all of John's Christmas gifts this year. The only exception will be his one gift from Santa. He has been talking about a big LEGO tractor and asking that Santa get it for him. We will see...

Happy Wednesday!

P.S. I am going with Josh to pick up John in about two hours. I am not 100% yet, but definitely well enough to take back mommy duties :)

The Business of Being Born

2010-09-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

Since I have been sick I have been watching a lot of movies on Netflix via my computer. (Thanks mom for letting me hack your account :) ) Tonight I watched this documentary called The Business of Being Born. It is a movie about home birth, midwives and some of the ways that medical interventions have removed the power of birth from the mother. It was an incredibly powerful, moving documentary and it really made me think about my birth experience.
I have been pretty open on my blog about my IVF experience, but I haven't really shared a lot of details about John's birth. I really wanted to have a natural childbirth. I wanted to do the Bradley method, which was so successful for friend's of ours. I wanted to avoid interventions and medications and the whole lot. Then I found out about my unicornuate uterus and the fact that it had the potential to have a major impact on my pregnancy. The risks for preterm labor and breach position were much higher because of the lack of space. Once I started seeing the perinatologist and having ultrasound after ultrasound we saw that John kept flipping and I started to feel like it was pointless to go through all of the training when we didn't even know if it would benefit us.
Then as I started to get further into my pregnancy, more things started hitting us. I previously thought that the battle for me was just going to be getting pregnant. I thought that the universe would take pity on me and let me have a beautiful pregnancy because we had already been through so much. It turns out that I was wrong. I had a very difficult pregnancy and ended up in the hospital for nearly a month due to preterm labor. I ended up going into labor for the last time at 34 weeks 6 days. I was still in the hospital, set to be released the next day, but they stopped my labor because I hadn't hit the magical 35 week mark. I mean, I had already been in labor 4 or 5 times. I was 100 % effaced, 5 centimeters dilated...I was ready to have this kid, but they stopped it. My wonderful doctor came back the next day and stripped my membranes and told me to walk around to try and induce labor, which I did to no effect. I ended up home the next day.
At exactly 37 weeks I thought I started feeling contractions again so we went back to the hospital. We didn't wait too long because I was already so dilated that everyone was nervous I wouldn't make it back to the hospital. Once I got there the nurse said that John's heart rate wasn't accelerating as it should. After trying for about two hours to get some results my doctor came in and broke my water. 20 minutes later monitors started going off and people started running into our tri-age room. John's heart rate had dropped to about 45 beats per minute. My doctor came in and flipped me on my side then checked to see if there was a cord issue. There was no cord wrapped around his neck, but his heart rate wouldn't go back up. There was no discussion, we were headed for a c-section. It was an e emergency, so they left Josh standing in the tri-age room while they ran me to an OR. When we got there John's heart rate had picked up enough that there was time to do a spinal instead of general anesthesia. That meant that Josh could come into the OR. He made it into the room, held my hand, and before he could even sit down we heard, "hello there." We had a very healthy 5lb 14 oz baby which was all that I ever wanted.
Here is the hard part though. There is a part of me that still wonders, could I have done things differently? I truly in my heart believe that vaginal delivery with immediate skin to skin contact is what is best for the baby. It breaks my heart to think of John being pulled out and immediately carried over to a scale to be poked and prodded. I didn't even get to hold him until the recovery room which was at least 15-20 minutes later. I look at moms who had natural deliveries and I feel like less of a woman, less of a mother. I don't think that I could have changed anything. I really think that we were one of those cases that needed serious medical intervention to prevent a tragedy. If I had to do it all over again I would do exactly the same thing. I mean, I would have given over my life to make sure that he came into this world healthy. I just wish, and I think it is probably ok to wish, that the circumstances had been different. I hope that when I have my next baby I have the strength to fight for what I want and play an active role in the making decisions for our care. I hope we get to do a natural V-BAC and that I get to experience the kind of birth that I dream of, but it I don't I will be ok as long as the baby is ok. (This is, of course, assuming that there will be another pregnancy).
I don't know, I guess this was sort of just a stream of consciousness post. It is something that I think about a lot but rarely express because it sounds sort of ungrateful.

Crummy

2010-09-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling like a big ball of blah for the last two days. I picked up some kind of stomach bug or ate something bad. I am really not sure which, as I am the only sick one in the house. Josh has totally stepped up and been so great with John. He even spent the night at my moms last night so I wouldn't have to hear John and want to help. Tonight though, he has to work. I am still sick and so so tired, so my mom and stepdad took John for the evening. It will be his first time alone for the night over there. He was very excited to go back and go swimming, and I know I should relish the quiet. Here is the thing though, the open door to his room is about 3 feet from where my head is laying on my pillow. That means I can look into his room and feel the lack of his presence. Being sick doesn't make me want to be away from my boy. I miss him and I want to feel better so that I can kiss him and love him the way that I do every day.

I know I have posted this picture before, but I misssss this face

Yayyyyyyy!

2010-09-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my mom and I went to this raw "vegan" festival up in Prescott. Now, I am really working hard at being positive, so I won't really say much about it. It didn't quite live up to my expectations and it wasn't really vegan (lots of honey and silk for sale, bummer) but it was still really nice to get away. My mom got me this awesome cotton dress that I will have to take pictures of because I can't really describe it. It is very simple, but I love the cut and its buttery yellow color. John did awesome on the car ride up, but was sleepy and unable to nap on the way home. It was good practice because...Next weekend we are going to SAN DIEGO!!!!

We used to travel a bit with my mom because she travels a lot for work. Lately she has been home more, which means no fun trips for us. The upside is that we get to see her a lot more frequently. The downside is that we don't get to go on vacation with the most awesome travel companion ever. My mom is always up for anything, she is always excited and she is just fun in general.
So anyway, she told us about a month ago that she wanted to take a weekend trip somewhere fun and we all agreed on San Diego. It is driving distance, we can do the beach and Balboa park for free, and we can go to LEGOland! In case I haven't mentioned it before, my husband and son have LEGO fever. Josh has always been addicted to LEGO's, but now he is building them with John and having a blast.

So, next weekend we are going to have a much needed vacation and we are all thrilled. Until then, I am keeping John around the house to work on a schedule and rhythm. He has been having a lot more tantrums than we are used to, and I am bound and determined to help him regain his sense of calm.
I will keep you updated on what tactics we try :)

Something that is important to remember

2010-09-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

So True

The 7 Year Itch

2010-09-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our anniversary...7 years. Josh always laughs because I say, "7 years married but almost 11 years together." I want to make sure I get all of my credit for time served :)

We had a wonderful anniversary. A night to ourselves in a room that my mom got for us. Dinner at Kona Grill and swimming in the dark. This might seem like a dumb expense for people that are really trying to watch their budget. The thing is, we live in a 350 square foot apartment with a 2 year old. Our only other space is shared with my dad and sister. A little privacy for our anniversary was worth gold to us.

Anyway, I am so thankful that I married this man. I am thankful that he is my partner in every way. He makes me smile in a way that most people have never even seen. He is literally the only person on the planet that I can spend more than two days with and not want to rip my hair out, well other than my son. He makes me take risks and settles me down. He supports all of my crazy ideas, loves me even though we believe in different things and is the greatest father I have ever seen.

Here's to 70 more years!

Yesterday

2010-09-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of those days. I am sure that every mother out there has them but I don't think we really talk about them. I mean, I know a lot of mothers who complain about their kids and complain about the way they act, but I feel like most moms don't really talk about how hard some days are.
Yesterday John hit me and bit me and peed on the floor and threw things. Yesterday John made me angry, really truly angry for what I really think is the first time. He was obstinate and argumentative and just all around really difficult. Several times I literally had to stop and remind myself that it would be over soon and that he really wasn't doing all of this just to make me nuts. It is just part of the process of growing.
Here is the thing though, he is two and a half. He is learning and growing and feeling things out for himself. I thought about it a lot last night. I realized several things. One is that I don't always have to make excuses for him, or for myself. We all have bad days and he is no different. I cannot always control his bad days, but I do need to work on controlling my reactions. I realized that getting frustrated is human and it is ok to tell him that he needs to have his tantrums in his room. I don't need to add fuel to the fire by trying to talk to him while he is upset. I also realized, though I don't know if I will remember it the next time, that having a little boy who is having a bad day doesn't make me a bad mother. Sometimes it can feel like the eyes of every mother, single person, father, child... everyone, are watching and judging. The truth of the matter is that we have ALL been there.
After the struggle of yesterday, here is the most important part. The part that I will carry with me. John woke up and asked for me. I went in and touched his face to help him fall back asleep. He grabbed my hand with his little fingers and rolled over, snuggling my hand beside him. When I tried to move he just grabbed tighter. So I just stood there and lingered in the love that I know my child feels for me, even if we had a rough day.

Thoughts on a Thursday

2010-09-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

A few thoughts on parenting...

I went to Starbucks this morning with John and it was very busy. John found a big comfy chair that another boy was sitting in and thought he would like to sit there too. The boys mom said it was ok, so I stood in line and watched John interact with this mom and her son. He was in a very excited mood, we were on our way to a playdate, and was super chatty. When they left, he walked over to another family and started chatting with them. I had walked over by this point and the lady was laughing and said something about how she hoped he wasn't getting any sugar or caffeine in his drink because he sure didn't need it. Whatever, it was true but still somewhat annoying. Then I was grabbing our drinks and he was standing next to me talking and fidgeting. This lady walked by and said something about how I really had my hands full.
Do people not realize that saying things like that is insulting. I mean, first of all he wasn't misbehaving at all. He was just a happy, talkative boy who didn't want to stand still in Starbucks for 15 minutes. Secondly, he is two and a half... people, including myself sometimes, seem to have totally unrealistic expectations of what small children should act like. Thirdly, keep your f-ing mouth shut about my kid. I am a mama bear and I will not hesitate to lash out at absolutely anyone who hurts my child in any way. He hears comments like that. He isn't deaf and he isn't dumb. You don't know him or me, so just keep it to yourself. He's not perfect, but he is wonderful just the same.

On another note,
I joined a forum about Waldorf homeschooling, I can't remember if I mentioned that before or not. I was asking some of the parents about Waldorf toys and feeling a little nervous because John isn't all that interested in homemade items. Seriously, I read these Waldorf and Unschooling blogs and these kids love anything wooden, knitted or otherwise homemade. My son likes tractors, cars and toy animals. I was feeling sort of threatened about his fitting into a Waldorf Inspired/unschooled "mold." One of the moms, and I really should thank her, responded with a comment about how the toys he play with aren't really going to define his education. It doesn't really have to look a certain way. If I follow the philosophies and theories behind these educational/life practices we will be ok. It might not make sense to other people, but it felt like such a huge weight off of my shoulders. It snapped me back into the reality that John's education doesn't have to look like everyone else's to be successful. I don't try to conform with "normal" society, so I shouldn't be so worried about trying to conform with "alternative" society either. I just need to focus on what feels right for my family and let the rest fall away.

Anyway, I know these things probably aren't interesting to 99% of blog readers. I don't honestly even know it anyone still reads this blog. However, I really am trying to start writing about the things that are important to me and letting the rest take care of itself.

If you did read this and you are still here, then Happy Thursday to you!

Photo via Weheartit

I am back, for real this time :)

2010-09-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a strange few weeks around my house. Things were kind of gloomy and there didn't seem to be a real reason for it. I have been struggling with guilt and motivation and just generally feeling blue. It is so nice to really feel like the cloud has lifted. I have a sense of direction and right now I am just riding the wave wherever it may take me. I think if there is anything that has been really reiterated over these last few weeks it is that motherhood changes daily, hourly even. Some days I feel like I am doing everything right, and other times it feels like I am destined to mess this kid up no matter what I do.

I think one of the reasons that I am feeling happier is that I had a little bit of a revelation about my son and our lives. Lately I have been running around with him all of the time. We are always doing some activity or running some errand. He has really been fighting me about going almost anywhere in the car. Temper tantrums and even him hitting a little have become way to frequent. It sound simple, but I realized that he doesn't want to have a schedule of running around all the time, even if I think it is fun stuff. For two days we have been just hanging at home, for the most part, and the tantrums have been so much less frequent. It is nice to go with an instinct and feel like it is the right one, at least for the moment.

Anyway, here is a little look at some of the things we have been up to for the last few days

Josh got John a bike at Goodwill.

It is hard to tell, but he chopped it all up so it would be short enough to act as a balance bike.

John thinks it is pretty awesome that he can "ride" his own big bike.

My sister set up the most trashy slip and slide ever. She used dishsoap to make some tarps slippery. John didn't really like it, but I think it is hilarious!

We have really really been enjoying some cooler temps at night. It is still pretty warm, but for us Arizonians it is a big improvement.

We finally got John's gator going. We were reluctant to let him have a motorized toy, but it is clearly worth it. He is absolutely in heaven.

We did some glitter art today to make cards for a birthday.

Holy messy glitter hands. His whole body was covered and that stuff is nearly impossible to get off.

I had to bribe him with a cookie to stand still long enough for me to take a picture :)

Working on the car with dad. He got a little wrench and started working on some object in the engine compartment. When I told him it was time to go in and take a bath he said, "not right now mom, I'm working on engine stuff."

My two boys make my stomach do happy somersaults.

Having some pappy time. Look at how he is clasping his little hands together in concentration.

I hope you are all doing well

Happy Wednesday!

Things I Want to Read, Watch or Listen To Right Away

2010-09-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

I started and finished the first book, The Hunger Games, last night. It is a young adult book so it is an easy read, but the story is great.

This one is on my reserve list at the library

Julianne Moore. Check.

Mark Ruffalo. Check

Annette Bening. Check

The cast is stellar and the story looks great. Super excited

This trailer looks so creepy and fascinating

I love me some Helen Mirren. I also want to see RED this summer, but this one is probably a little closer to my style.

Marc Cohn touches my soul.

I have always been a big fan of Natalie Merchant and the concept of this album intrigues me.

Awesome Day!

2010-09-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

I didn't get any pictures of my day today, but it was a doozy!
We went to a playdate today, and for the first time it felt like a great fit for both John and I. I mean, we always have a wonderful time with our friends, but I like the idea of John getting used to being in a group of kids. Especially since he is going to be homeschooled without a ton of other kids around most of the time.
So, I found this playgroup that is for moms that are tattooed and pierced and generally look different than the "norm." I figured that maybe some of these moms would be a little more liberal and just different than the typical playgroup mom. When I got there I saw no tattoos or piercings, so I was worried that I had gotten gypped. Then we all started talking... Four of the moms cloth diaper, one did EC. Two are still breastfeeding at 3-4 years old. 1 was a doula, one had a homebirth, 2 had natural midwife attended births. It was just so wonderful to be surrounded by parents who have a lot of the same beliefs as I do. It was so nice to talk to them and watch them interact with their kids. I just loved it. John had a blast and he keeps talking about his friends.
When we came home we both took a quick nap, then mom took Josh, John and I out to lunch at Pita Jungle...AWESOME! Then we went to her house and hung out for a few hours. It was a day well spent and John fell asleep immediately because he was so worn out. That is always the sign of a good day :)

In Other News:

I got a surprise from my mom. She took me to go get a new tattoo. I was supposed to get it for Christmas, but I ended up using my gift money to pay bills so I never got it. It is still scabtastic, so the colors don't look great, but I LOVE it. Another item crossed off of my day zero goals.

Josh found John a bike at Goodwill while I was getting the tattoo. I know, it is pink, just like all of his other bikes :) He told us he wanted a black bike with a white basket, but when Josh took him to get paint John saw John Deere green and immediately changed his mind :)

Josh is converting it into a balance bike. He took off the pedals, the chains, and is going to lock the handle bar in a straight position. This will allow John to learn each thing a step at a time, starting with balance.

Our friends had a gorgeous baby girl name Finley. She seems so tiny compared to my big boy.

Happy Wednesday

Drop Dead Fred

2010-08-31T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well, this post isn't about Drop Dead Fred, per se, more just about imaginary friends. John has found himself a nice little imaginary friend named Garret. He got the name from a tractor video he saw on youtube with my dad. All day yesterday John and Garret ran around and played. He doesn't have conversations with his "friend" but he will tell me all about what Garret is doing.
As a child, I never had an imaginary friend, although I kind of always wanted one. So I am totally fascinated watching John play with this little person that he has built entirely in his mind. I love love love that he is using his imagination so fully.
I just hope that he Garret doesn't try to get John to shave our cat or play cat burglars like Fred :)

Anniversary

2010-08-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

My 7 year anniversary with Joshua is coming up soon (September 19th) and I have been trying to think of what to do for him. I decided last night that I am going to put together a little album of our 11 years together (since we were dating/engaged for 4 years before we got married).

I was going through a ton of old pictures tonight and it made me laugh to think of all the things that we have been through so far. For some reason, I had forgotten that he paid one of his friends, who is a pilot, to take us flying for our 6 month anniversary. I had forgotten about how we begged my parents to let us get married before I graduated college. We took my mom out to lunch and had a whole speech about how we were ready and all of the benefits to us being married. I mean, we had already been living together for like two years...Finally they took pity on us and gave their seal of approval. I had even sort of forgotten how we did a totally impromptu dance to You Are the One I Want from Grease at our wedding. I am super shy and get nervous when people look at me, but I lost myself in that glorious moment with my new husband.

I can't wait to see what other memories pop up as I make this for him.

A Letter to Myself

2010-08-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Katie,
You seem to have reached a little fork in the road in your journey towards self discovery. I think perhaps you have been making so many changes and now you have lost yourself a little bit. You need to take a little bit of time a really focus on who you want to be and what you want out of life. Do you want to grow spiritually? Maybe you need to do a little reading on some of the Pagan religions, as that seems to be a good fit belief-wise. Do you want to grow a crafting business? Maybe you should try getting out of your comfort zone and learn how to self-promote a little better?How about this blog? This blog was supposed to be for you, as a way to learn about yourself and document the ups and downs of life. Making connections with other people has been a wonderful, unexpected result of that, but for some reason I see you pulling away. It is almost as though you are sabotaging a chance to be a friend, which is exactly the kind of pattern you need to move away from. Stop criticizing yourself, stop overthinking and sitting still. You need to continue down that road you started on, even if it is confusing and difficult and even if you have to pave it yourself every bit of the way.
Love,
Your Heart

Handmade Holiday Gifts

2010-08-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

I finally took the leap and created a little blog to showcase some of my handmade items for sale. I have been talking about opening up an etsy shop, but I don't know that I feel confident enough to do that just yet.

The blog lists items that I have for sale but everything will be made to order so anything can be customized.

Please feel free to share the link if you know someone who might be interested.

All of the profits from what I sell is going to go towards another round of IVF

so that we can have another baby.

The blog is called Handmade Holidays by Katie. Here is the link, http://handmadeholidaysbykatie.blogspot.com

Thank you all so much for your support.

Weather and Dreads = a glorious day

2010-08-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today we had the most gorgeous storm. One of the things that I enjoy about AZ summers is monsoon weather. When I was a kid (and horrifically terrified of storms) it seemed like we had monsoons all the time. Now, it seems as though we never have them, especially not during the day when we can enjoy them. Today, the universe saw fit to grace us with a full on storm with thunder, lightening, wind AND rain! I stood outside for the longest time waiting for my dad to bring John home and I just soaked it all in. Then John and I went out and played in the rain and mud, extraordinary!

Jeez, you can hardly tell my nose is pierced in this picture, but it is there I assure you :)

This was my hair on Friday...

And here it is now.

It's not entirely finished. You can see some part are still not dreaded on the left. I think we probably have about two more hours left, but we are taking a little break for now. We can only work on it after John goes to bed and Josh works the next several nights, so I just wear it pulled back. You really can't tell it's not done until it is down.

I am in love!

P.S. I voted today, did you?!?

Things I Am Thankful for This Week

2010-08-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

Wow! I really think that my list could go on and on and on...
1. Josh had three full days off and spent them all with John and I. We went to the museum, the LEGO store, the mall, the piercing place, played in the mud, watched movies, dreaded my hair, ate at our favorite restaurant...Whenever I get to spent lots of time with my husband it reminds me of why I love him so much and why I chose him to be my best friend.
2. We had a ton of rain last night and we could hear it banging on the windows.
3. I am so thankful that I feel like the way I look on the outside is starting to feel like an expression of who I am on the inside. I don't want to look like everyone else, I want to look like a person that has a free spirit and a little spunk. I feel like my new dreads (which aren't completely finished) help me express that a little.
4. We had the house to ourselves for a few days. When you live with other people it can be such a relief to have some breathing room for a little while.
5. John and I had an awesome dinner with my favorite sister in law and her boyfriend, my mother in law and brother in law. It was a nice couple of hours and John was so happy to see everyone.

I know i need to post some pics soon. I have totally been neglecting my camera and the ones I have taken still aren't on my computer.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful wonderful weekend.

Day 2

2010-08-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name...

My blog name is pretty simple really. Last year John was totally obsessed with Pumpkins and Jack O' Lanterns. There is a house near us that goes totally nuts with decorations on the holidays. John saw it and all of the pumpkins and went crazy. After that he would ask me 15 times a day, "Unka Mama? Unka Mama?" It was his way of saying pumpkin mama? I loved his way of saying it, and since I am pretty obsessed with my kid, I thought it would be a cute blog name.

Day 1.

2010-08-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

Day One: A recent picture and 15 interesting facts about yourself

I don't know how interesting they are, but here goes...

1. My name is actually Rachel, but I have never been called Rachel a day in my life

2. I married the first and only man that I have ever loved

3. The sound of whistling makes me want to jam nails in my ears

4. The smell of Patchoulli makes me want to vomit, as does the smell of bell peppers

5. I can't help it but I laugh every single time John says poop or fart or any number of inappropriate things.

6. I really, really miss homework and school and everything about being a student

7. I wish that I was clever and had witty things to add to conversations

8. I have never hit a person or been hit by a person, but I have always had a fantasy about being in a fist fight

9. I had an intense, irrational fear of cockroaches

10. I wore red converse to my wedding

11. I hoard stickers

12. I pick at nail polish any time I wear it, it doesn't ever really last through a full day

13. My favorite smell in the world is when John has been out playing and his hair is sweaty, but dried and he smells like a wild little boy

14. I have never seen The Godfather, Citizen Kane, Miracle on 34th St...and a lot of other so called classics

15. I am super super proud to be a part of my family, even though I am not like most of them at all.

Happy Friday!!

Hip Hip Hooray

2010-08-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

AAAAHHHHHH! I got my nose pierced today! I am freaking out because I am so excited. I have wanted a nostril piercing since I was about 13 and have never been able to get one. I saved enough money to do it and Josh had the day off so he dropped me off to get it done. Rikki (Seitanic Vegan Heathan) went with me because she is AWESOME. It was easy and awesome and I feel so full of happiness.
PLUS, Josh is working on my dreads right now.

Could this day get any better?
I will post pics soon.

30 Days of Me

2010-08-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

My awesome friend Kellie posted this on her blog. It is an awesome challenge called 30 Days of Me. I think things like this are fun, and it isn't too serious so I think I am going to join in.
Here are the daily prompts for 30 days of me:

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind you blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere youve been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put you ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- a letter to your parents
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- you favorite song

Yay! I can't wait to see everyone else's answers because I have seen that a lot of people are doing this.

2010-08-16T22:01:00.000-07:00

So, I think that I am back. I feel like I am rejuvenated, energized and full of hopes and goals. I have really been enjoying my time with John and my family. We have been busy, busy, busy but I guess that is not really ever going to change.

Randoms: Goals and Thoughts in no particular order

Josh and I have decided that we are going to unschool John. It probably isn't going to be strict unschooling, there will be some Waldorf inspired homeschooling going on, but the emphasis will be on John leading us where he wants to go. I have so much more research to do, I think we are going to take an online seminar, but I really feel like my heart and soul are leading us in this direction. I will be sure to keep my blog updated as we make our way through this journey. I am sure that people will have questions, as unschooling is someone of a "radical" and "odd" way of schooling. Please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.
We have decided to put our RV dream on hold for a while. We really feel like it might not be the most realistic goal as we are really hoping to have another child in the next year or two. Since we can't do pregnancy the easy way, we have to save up in order to have the procedures that need to be done. So goal one is to have another child.
Since the RV goal is on hold we are thinking that once we have a baby we will probably move to WA, OR or CO. I am rooting for the Northwest and Josh is hoping for CO. We are going to be having some serious discussions and planning sessions while Josh has Thur, Fri and Sat off this week. What I know for sure is that my heart can't take AZ even though it will be beyond hard to leave my family.
Goal: Get some product created and find a way to market it so that I can bring in some income, even if it isn't a tremendous amount.

Anyway, so many things to think about and plan for. On another note, I know I have apologized for this before, but I haven't been the greatest pen pal or blog friend lately. For some reason, I have really been living inside my head lately. I think that part of growing and changing as drastically as we have been attempting to do, can make a person feel pretty overwhelmed. So please forgive me for my lack of correspondence lately.

Break From Blogging

2010-08-11T18:58:00.000-07:00

Hello My Friends...
I think I am going to take a little break from my blog. Probably only for a week or two, but it might be shorter or longer. I am really trying to continue reevaluating my priorities and where I am coming from. I love blogging, I love the connections I have made with people, but I just feel like I am running out of things to say at this exact moment. I hope I come back revitalized and creative, but right now I just want to pour all of my energy out into my actual life. No need to fear, nothing is wrong, no life altering events, in fact everything is really really good right now and I just want to focus on that.
I am still going to be reading other peoples blogs though :) I think I would miss seeing what is going on with everyone :)
Happy Wednesday!

Generousity

2010-08-07T20:30:00.001-07:00

Sometimes the universe is so generous it takes my breath away. It is unbelievable to me how my families needs are met, sometimes even our wants, from the unlikeliest of places.

For at least the last few weeks I have been dreaming of having a little kitchen set for John. My little man loves to help me in the kitchen, and having an area for him to "cook" alongside me would be pretty awesome. I have seen some awesome do-it-yourself versions, but even those cost money. So I have put the idea in the back of my mind for the time being until we can get it figured out.

Then today I was driving home from my moms (in my car that now has air conditioning, thanks to three clips from bread bags and ten minutes of labor from Josh and my stepfather. How amazing is it to have air conditioning in 110 degree heat, you may ask? Pretty f-ing awesome!) I saw a truck stopped on the side of the road by my house and looked closer at what it was checking out. A KITCHEN SET!!!! The truck pulled away and I drove home at top speed, ran into my dad who was checking the mail, and told him to get in his truck and meet me up the street. I ended up with a totally awesome, and in great condition, Little Tykes kitchen set. The front has an indoor kitchen area with a stove, microwave, dishwasher, sink, shelves, etc. The back has a grill and a little counter area. John thinks it is the best thing ever. I had to give him actual uncooked noodles to play with since I haven't made food yet. It was quite a mess :) He did use some of the wood blocks to make soy burgers, which was so sweet to see.

We also drove with a cozy coupe car with the top taken off so it looks like a convertible and a tool bench with like 7-8 tools.

I am just so grateful and I know my son is so happy.

Thoughts on a Thursday

2010-08-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get tired of going against the current. I think it must be something to go along with conventional wisdom and socially accepted norms. I mean, it isn't the kind of life I want, but it must be somewhat easier not to have to answer questions about why or how I do things. It must be nice not to be the butt of jokes from friends who think we are too "extreme" or just plain wrong. It must be nice not to feel like I have to defend every choice that I make to well meaning, but bothersome people. It all just gets rather tiresome to me from time to time.

And here is the best part...I have lots and lots more of this to look forward too.

Why is it so hard for people to understand that veganism is like a religion to me. I take it so seriously and it is a part of my soul, part of the essence of who I am. It isn't a diet created to deny myself "pleasure" or to set myself apart from other people. It is a moral code that I choose to live by and teach my child.

Why is it so hard to understand that I believe my child will learn things in his own time. I am tired of people telling me that he should be potty trained already or that he should know how to use the pedals on his bike and so on. John is absolutely smart enough to do those things, but he is obviously not READY or he would be doing them.

I haven't shared our journey into homemade toys, our RV adventure or my research into unschooling with most of the people in my life. It is sad to me sometimes that I feel more comfortable sharing it with the blog world than with family and friends. I just know that people already think that Josh and I are "out there" and that some of the people that are close to us seem to be offended by the lives that we are choosing to live.

I stand by my choices, I know that they are right for our family. I know that my little boy is a happy, intelligent, well cared for, extremely loved little boy. I know that I would never put him in harms way for any reason and that any idea or value that I may hold dear would be thrown out the window if it jeopardized him in any way. I guess that people could just respect that there are different ways to live a life and raise a child. You can choose your way and I can choose mine, it doesn't make either of us right or wrong, it just makes us different.

Wednesday Wishes

2010-08-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

Since it is Wednesday and time for some wishes, I have created a short list of some characteristics of myself that I wish/hope/dream of changing.
I wish I had more patience. I feel like I do pretty well with John, I rarely get impatient with him, but my poor husband deals with my impatience much more often than he should have too.

I wish I was more motivated. There are so many things to do and sometimes all I want to do is sit on my lazy butt and play on the computer. I wish I could be motivated to get all the way through my to-do lists every day.

Willpower...oh how you evade me. I wish I had the willpower to lose the weight that I know I need to lose. I know that I must have at least some will power because I became vegan with no trouble, but I cannot for the life of me change the rest of my eating habits.

I wish I had less guilt. I feel guilty all the time about little things and big things. I wish I could just realize that I am doing the best that I can do, and I can't really give more than that.

I wish I was more graceful. Actually, I wish I had any gracefulness at all. If there is something to trip over or run into or drip on myself I will do it every single time.

There are lots of things that I do like about myself, but sometimes those are harder to think of. Here's to hoping that someday these wishes will come true :)

Happy Wednesday!

Toymaking

2010-08-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am looking at the picture below and it doesn't look like John has any shortage of toys :) I actually just did another sweep today and cleaned up, paired down and stored toys that he doesn't use daily. I got rid of his toy box, as I realized that he never actually looks inside of it. I put toys and some musical toys on his shelves and hid some other things in a tote, to be used when he is bored and needs something new. In addition, we made some awesome new handmade toys today. The first is a cardboard tractor that I have been envisioning in my head for about 2 months. It still needs some fine tuning, but John is VERY happy with his scoop tractor :)

Here he is lifting the scoop to dump some blocks into his tractor box.

Tuesday is Daddy/John day. They don't usually spend the whole entire day doing something, but today they did. They ended up building father and son toolboxes. Sweetest thing ever ;) I even burned their initials into the finished products.

I got this idea from another mom's awesome blog, found here. Since I don't have any money, I can't afford to buy her families lovely cars. I do have a whole shop out back, so we produced our own. It actually does drive and roll!!!

That same blog had an awesome stacking toy made out of wood. My dad and I cut out the little pieces and I drilled the holes while my dad fastened dowel rods into the big base piece. Now John can work on stacking and unstacking and using dexterity. I think he is really going to like these, and as a bonus, he can also use them as threading beads on hemp twine that I have.

Here is to making my own toys and seeing things turn out well :)

Taking on the V-Con

2010-08-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I got my butt in gear this week and made a pseudo Mac Daddy. I didn't actually bake mine because it is too damn hot here in AZ.

Here's what you need:
Sauce:
2 cups water or veggie broth (I followed Courtney's advice and used water)
1/4c all purpose flour
1 TBSP olive oil
3 cloves minced garlic
Pinch of dried thyme
1/4 tsp salt
Freshly ground pepper
1/8 tsp turmeric
3/4c nutritional yeast
1 TBSP fresh lemon juice
1 tsp prepared yellow mustard

First you saute the garlic in oil for a bit, and then add the thyme salt and pepper. After sauteing add the flour and water (which should be pre-mixed in a small bowl) turmeric and nutritional yeast.

Stir it until it thickens and bubbles slightly, then add the lemon and mustard.

I cooked spiral pasta and a little bit of gardein chicken on top. Like I said, I didn't bake it because it was too hot in the house already.

I actually don't have kind words for this recipe. For some reason the sauce just tasted gross to both Josh and I. He tried to add curry to his, which made it ten times worse. I finished mine, but we threw away the remainder of the sauce. I honestly don't think I will even try to make this one again. I don't like mac and cheese enough to tinker with the recipe.

Rikki Cupcake picked the next few recipes, so I am SUPER excited to try some things out of my comfort zone.

Gagaaaaa

2010-08-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Was the GREATEST concert ever!!!!

HTML Yourself!

2010-07-31T13:19:00.001-07:00

Uhhh...If you are not taking this than you should be!!!

Two of my favorite ladies, Courtney and Justine, are teaching a class on HTML so that you can learn to spruce up your blog.

I am so excited because I know absolutely nothing on this subject and I think it will be so useful.

Click here to go to Courtney's blog for more info.

Hello again...hello

2010-07-31T13:12:00.000-07:00

First of all...I just want to say thank you to everyone for their kind words about John and his health. He is definitely getting better, but it will be a few moe days before we get back to having good sleep. Now he just has a cold, and for those of you who don't know, dr.'s don't recommend cough suppression medication in little ones. That means that my poor little boy is coughing until he throws up, which is painful for him and for my heart. Luckily, he is in good spirits, as usual, even though he is sleeping so terribly.

In more positive news... LADY GAGA IS TONIGHT!!!! I am bursting with excitment even though it is going to be so so hard to leave my boy with daddy and pappy. I know they will take excellent care of him, but it's me he wants when he is sick :( I am absolutely determined to enjoy my time with my little sister and take in every detail of the show. I will have lots of pictures to share (hopefully) tomorrow :0

Happy Saturday

Scary, so scary

2010-07-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

Last night I put John down to bed and everything was normal. Then at 12:30 he woke up coughing and struggling to breathe. I swear it was the single most terrifying moment of my life, except for his birth. I tried to calm him down for a minute, but the was totally out of my realm of knowledge and I was trying not to panic. I woke Josh up and we raced to the hospital. Luckily, He calmed down a little by the time we got there and it turned out to be Croup. He had a pretty bad attack, which has never happened to us before. After all of his other respiratory things, I honestly thought that Croup would be pretty mild. I always thought it was just a loud cough, but this was so much worse. Thankfully, they gave him a big dose of a steroid and it seems to have helped. He is sick, but he isn't sick like last night.
I am laying here in bed playing on the computer and I am honestly scared to go to sleep. I am terrified that he will get sick and I won't know, which is virtually impossible as I am the lightest sleeper ever and our rooms are connected. Logically, I know that he is going to be ok, but I just can't get over it.
Hopefully we will all get some sleep and J-man will be ok through the night.

It's Here!!!!!

2010-07-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, now that I have caught my breath from looking at the amazing design Courtney created for the book club, I am happy to announce that the blog is all ready for our use!!!

I decided to call our book club The Super Secret Literary Society...shnazzy right!

Here is a link to the awesomeness and there is even a cutie blog button over on the left. If you are interested in the book club please go check it out. I am hoping it is going to be a lot of fun!

Do You Ever?

2010-07-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just feel like you need to do something else, be something else, go somewhere else? Do you ever feel like you are forgetting something that is vitally important but you just can't put your finger on it?
That's how I have been feeling lately. Not dissatisfied with my life in any way, just feeling like I am missing something that really must be done.
I think part of it is our RV dream. I wish we could just go, now now now. I know that it isn't feasible or responsible, but I am so scared that if we wait we will find reasons not to do it. What if we never feel like we have enough money? Should that really stop us? I mean, as long as we can take care of the basics and have something set aside for emergencies, isn't that all we really need? What if something happens to one of us in the next 2-3 years and we spend the rest of our lives worrying about what might have been? I have never really been a carpe diem kind of girl, but now that I am trying, I feel like life is holding me back and saying "not yet, just a little longer."

I am also longing to get more information on Waldorf and Unschooling practices. I have been reading a ton of blogs, which are so valuable. However, I feel like those families already know what they are doing on their journey. How in the world did they get their information? How far behind am I? Am I going to get this right? I have found some wonderful books online and even a few workshops, but everything is so costly. Our libraries, the local and the city ones, have virtually no information on the alternative schooling that we are going to be following. It is such a big responsibility to go against every single socially accepted education standard and say, I KNOW in my heart I am right. Now I need to know in my brain that I am right, and I need to get some of this information to do so.

Also, I have been going back and forth on the etsy front. I don't know if it is really worth the effort. Should I make a post with some samplings of crafts and stuff? Maybe people would be honest and tell me if I have a shot? Are there other ways to sell your goods? I am shooting in the dark here people. I need to find some ways to make extra moolah to get us started on some of the above goals, but I am totally at a loss on where to start.

Anyway, all of this is invading my brain. I need to go take a hot bath and meditate and then get some scheduling done. John is still chattering in his bed an hour after I put him down. It is both funny and frustrating. At least he isn't yelling for me :)

Wednesday Wishes

2010-07-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

I don't have too many today. I have been so busy lately that my wish thinking time has been cut down a little. This isn't really a bad thing, I have been using the time to actually DO things instead of just thinking about them. That is a wish come true for me :) Anyway, here's the wishes I do have for the week.

1. I wish for John's Dr.'s appointment to go well. It isn't a MAJOR thing, he's had a thorn stuck in his heel for like 6 days. It is really hurting him and I can't get it out, so off to the doctors we go. I am hoping/wishing that they can numb it a little and get it out easily.

2. I wish for my mom's rental houses to sell so she can stop stressing out. I also wish I could kick stupid people who back out of deals right in the kneecaps.

3. Time to meditate twice per day. It is sooo important to me, but I have such a hard time creating the opportunity. It's not something I can do when John is awake, and it is hard for me to do it while he naps because I am convinced he will wake up at any moment. I am going to keep working on it though.

That's all folks! Be sure to check out everyone else's Wednesday Wishes by clicking the links on the left.

Happy Wednesday!

Taking on the V-Con

2010-07-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

Soooo, I must admit that I did not cook this weeks recipe. I am going to cook it...eventually. When I made up the list of recipes it looked really good. Then, when it came time to make it, it just didn't look good at all. I love all of the ingredients...it just sounds so very unappealing right now.
Maybe it's the heat, maybe it's that Whole Foods had no Sweet Potatoes. I don't know. What I know is that next week is a Cheezy Mac recipe and I am all over that one!
Sorry to my girls for being a flake.

Book Club! Finally!

2010-07-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have been tossing around the idea of a book club with a few lovely ladies for like 3 months. I have been holding back because I am not really sure how to structure the whole thing. Today I was thinking about it and I thought, " I could wait until forever and I still might not be sure how to make this work." I think I am just going to have to get it going and work out the kinks as we go.

So, here is what I know right now...

1. This is what I am thinking the first book should be...

I read it a looong time ago, and I think it is worth another look. Plus, I know a few ladies already have this at home and have expressed interest.

2. I have a list of discussion questions that I will email out once I have a list of who is participating. I will send them ahead of time so we can think about them as we are reading.

3. I think that for the first book, we should shoot to have it finished by August 31st. I know that seems like a long time but I know everyone has lots of things going on besides reading an assigned book.

4. Here is where it gets tricky...I don't know how to create a forum to actually "discuss" the book. We could do it via email through reply to all emails. I think that might be the easiest way. I am not computer savvy enough to create a message board or something of that nature.

5. If it doesn't work out or if it is stressful or annoying, then we can either call it off or restructure it. The bottom line is that I just like the idea of sharing good books and different points of view.

Questions? Interested? Is this worth it or too complicated?

Let me know :)

Monday Monday

2010-07-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I have already finished almost all of my to do list today, which makes me feel full and happy.
One of the things that I am trying to do is find a retirement/nursing home for John and I to visit on a weekly basis. This is turning out to be more challenging than I thought it might be. I called 6 nursing homes today and did not get to speak to any of their volunteer coordinators. How sad is it that the residents might miss out on the chance to hang out with a joyful child because no one is there to talk to volunteers. Oh, they all had coordinators, it's just that none of them were available to talk to me.
Does anyone out there have volunteer idea that you might do on your own or as a family? It has been weighing on my mind lately that we have been given so many gifts/blessings (whatever you want to call them) but we don't do much to give back.
Let me know what you do! I am so interested
Happy Monday

Day Zero Goals

2010-07-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

So, I have decided to put my Day Zero goals up in an effort to motivate myself into doing them. Bolded one are completed!

Lose 20lbs
Cook 5 times per week for at least a month
Read all of the books on my bookshelf
Smile at a stranger every day (so far so good)
Attend an outdoor concert
Attend at least 10 protests
Organize my house
Cancel junk mail
Floss daily
Keep up with my blog
Put pics in photo albums
Learn to use a manual camera
Write in John's memory book at least once per week
Video John weekly
Go on an overnight trip with Josh
Be thankful at least once daily (in progress)
Try a screen printing project
Go on a hike that seems difficult
Go out with a friend
Go to a roller derby
Decorate for every holiday for a year
Join and attend a playgroup
Go see the leaves change up north
Go camping for at least 2 nights
Have a picnic
Fly a kite
Reread Atlas Shrugged
Cook a vegan Christmas dinner
Join a book club
Go rapelling
Visit CA family
Visit SMoCA
Ride our bikes to the park
Follow a budget
Watch a Miracle on 34th St.
Perform an RAK
Take John to Phoenix Children's Museum
Attend a play at Gammage
Go to a bar
Have a fire in the fire pit
Watch Citizen Kane
Go to Lilith Fair (Going to Lady Gaga instead)
Frame our Haiti Pics
Go to Vegas
Make at least 10 things
Vote in a local election
Go to ThanksLiving
Peel out in a car
Play in the rain/mud
Start a new family tradition
Make a new friend
Walk to the store
Make John a quilt
Watch a movie starting with every letter
Try a new fruit
Do something completely selfless
Shop at a farmer's market
Write a story
Dress up
Embroider a bag
Learn to use my sewing machine proficiently
Make rock candy
Have a 30th birthday party with Josh
Surprise Josh with something
Start a garden
Learn to walk in heels
Volunteer
Attend a WV event
Work on my red journal
Color an entire coloring book
Attend a letter writing event at Green
Have $1,000 in savings
By everything in cash for at least a month (well beyond a month already)
Fill out appropriate sections of my life
Private
Private
Private
Private
Go to PA
Potty train John
Plant a tree
Write Josh a love letter
Exercize regularly
Take an online class
Get a tattoo
Get my nose pierced
Use a clothesline to dry
Eat RAW for a month
See a movie at MadCap
See Rocky Horror Picture Show live
Have a baby
Pay back mom and Jan
Visit a Buddhist Temple
Dye my hair
Private
Recreate my first date with Josh
Organize my ipod
Move into our own place (this has changed)
Help mom clean her garage
Have a garage sale
Have a celebration for completing my goals

I have until the end of November 2012! I need to get it in gear and get going

This week in review

2010-07-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

What a nice week it has been. It is hot, humid and slightly cloudy in AZ, so we are trying to make the most of our days inside, as usual. Here is a little glimpse into our week, in no particular order.

John got his first pair of "sceesers" or scissors for those of you who don't speak toddler. He is very proud and is having fun cutting up any paper we will give him or he can steal.

I found a strand of white lights in our shop (an old barn out back) and brought them inside. John fell in love and played until nighttime. I ended up hanging them in our apartment and he calls them the "magic lights."

I know this picture is blurry but to me it just captures his joy at something so simple.

Right after eating the Oreo, but before he started chasing me around the living room with dirty hands. *note - I don't want people to think I am a hypocrite. I don't own a tv, I don't think we ever will. This is the tv in my dad's house, which stays off whenever we are in there during the day.*

The Oreo aftermath!

I found this pool on clearance for $3.99, It has been too hot to play with it outside, since we don't really have shade, so I blew it up and John came out to find it full of blankets and pillows. His dad climbed in too, which annoyed John to no end.

Homemade blueberry and mango popsicles. Yum!

He turned his rocking horse like that and started calling it his skid steer tractor. He worked on the tractor for at least a half hour and spent forever telling me where the bales of hay went in and out.

He is finally in to Legos, which are his dad's favorite toy ever. Our old neighbor gave us that huge box of Duplos and they have been sitting at my moms. I brought them home and they have even replaced his love for tractors this week.

On Thursday it finally got cloudy enough that we were able to play outside for a few hours. You can't really see, but I gave him so old PVC pipe and he was able to reroute the flow of water from the hose. He loved it!

I finished his tractor toy/stuffed thing. I am really happy with how it turned out, but I think next time I will use a more contrasting felt so the embroidery shows up better. John really likes it though, so that is the most important thing.

And in big news for me, I went out for a girls night with Rikki and some of her friends last night. I haven't had a real girls night in at least a year if not longer. It was so much fun and I can't wait to do it again. It is nice to be making friends again. I wish more of my awesome blog friends lived here because then we could hang out and have fun too.

Happy Saturday!

Wednesday Wishes

2010-07-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... It's actually Thursday! Joshua was on the computer last night so I didn't get to post my wishes. Better late than never though right?

These are things I wish I could look out my window right now and see.

Rain...The monsoons have been teasing us with rain for at least two weeks. We get a few drops and then nothing. Some people need sunshine to refuel their soul, I need rain. Kind of a problem when you live in AZ.

A Weeping Willow tree. I just think they are so gorgeous and soulful.

A grove of banyan trees. How much fun would it be to explore in there?

Tulips seem so exotic to me. It was beyond amazing to me that they just grew on the side of the road in Portland.

Kids playing. It seems so quaint, the idea of kids playing red rover or simon says or just plain running around. We live in a great quiet neighborhood, but there aren't really any kids. Of course, in today's world I am not sure I would let John run around out front anyway, certainly not at this age.

Be sure to check out the other Wednesday Wishes Gals!

Happy Thursday!

Thankfulness and Goals

2010-07-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

A while ago I posted 25 things that I am thankful for so that when I get down, which happens a bit, I can look and remember. Lately it seems that there have been a whole host of wonderful things happening in my life, so I thought I should take the time to make a new list...I am not going to push for 25, just whatever comes naturally.

1. The meditation class we took gave me new tools to use to fight stress, and hopefully my insomnia.
2. John is just the absolute perfect child for our family.
3. Josh and I have worked through the issues we were having and have grown stronger yet again :)
4. I am becoming the mother that I know I am capable of being
5. I am starting to make new friends who like me for me
6. Adding a rhythm to our week has made life so much less stressful. We always have something to look forward to.
7. Lady Gaga is in like 2 weeks!
8. We are going to be living in our RV in t-minus two years! Amazing!
9. Josh got promoted, already
10. I am taking steps to building a waldorf-inspired homeschool/unschool program for John.
11. My foot is feeling better
12. It is halfway through July, which means summer is that much closer to being over
13. We got reapproved for our insurance, which is HUGE for our family
14. Somehow we always have just enough to make it
15. My family and I are all healthy and happy.

I could go on and on, but these are all pretty important things going on in our lives right now. I am just so grateful for the positivity that seems to have enveloped our home. When I was at the meditation class the teacher told us something pretty insightful. She said that when you are little you feel like the world is all happening for you, everything wonderful is meant just for you. As you get older, you start to feel like the world is happening to you, everything bad just seems to fall your way. I am realizing, and this list helps me remember, that the world isn't happening for me or to me, it is what I make it. I have the power to look at each thing happening in my life and to decide how to react. I am hoping that I will continue to react thankfully and take each obstacle as it comes.

GOALS: (Just a quick list of what needs to be done sooner rather than later)
1. Finish Art Journals for swap
2. Make John's cardboard tractor
3. Help dad/Josh make John's enclosed step stool
4. Sell toys at consignment
5. Take a specific class by this weekend
6. Cut some more blocks and add holes for construction
7. Finish pen pal letters, although they are never really finished because there is always a new one to reply to thank goodness :)
8. Create a book club for some blog friends and I
9. Start my Visionary Mom's Class
10. Create a kitchen play set for John

Wow, this post was long and random as usual.
I hope everyone had a great Tuesday!

Taking on the V-Con - Week 6

2010-07-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

Oh man, this weeks deliciousness was Roasted Portobellos. These babies were perfection and so easy!

Ingredients:

1/2 c. Cooking Wine

2 Tbsp Olive Oil

2 Tbsp Balsamic Vinegar

2 Tbsp Soy Sauce/Braggs

2 Cloves Garlic - Minced

2 Portobello Caps

Basically you just throw everything together like a marinade. I put my caps in a big pyrex and dumped the marinade on top. Then I put the lid on the pyrex and shook everything around every few minutes.

This is what they looked like after marinating.

The recipe calls for roasting them in the oven, but it is too freaking hot for that right now. We didn't want our ancient stove to heat up the whole kitchen, so Josh took one for the team and grilled them. Actually, he left them in the pyrex, covered them with foil, and then put them on the grill. I think it took about 30 minutes at 400 on our grill. I am not entirely sure though because I was chasing my little guy around the backyard.

When they were finished we had portobello burgers! We added a few toppings and had some delicious corn as a side. Wonderful!

I think this is going to be a recipe that we use a lot over the summer. It was fast, cheap and easy...my three favorite ingredients in any meal :)

Happy Wednesday!

When I Knew

2010-07-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

A few years ago Josh and I bought one of the most awesome books ever, When I Knew. It is basically just a buch of short essays/paragraphs about how all of these people knew they were gay. I just found the book and figured I would share one of the stories. Maybe I will share more from time to time.

1969

My father was watching the evening news. The announcer said that Judy Garland had died. I fainted. I was nine. - Andrew Freedman

I LOVE this book :)

Happy Monday!

Low Cost Gift

2010-07-16T19:50:00.001-07:00

I made these shirts for a friend who is having a baby in August. Obviously, everyone knows I don't have much money, so I have to get creative to make nice gifts for a little cash. These three shirts cost about $6.00. I embroidered the F (the baby's name will be Finley) and the fawn. The heart in the center is a batik style from gluw and acrylic paint. I think they turned out so nice and I am happy that I don't have to be embarrassed giving her a crappy gift.

A wonderful day and some awesome news!

2010-07-16T19:29:00.000-07:00

On Thursday Joshua and I went to a private meditation training session with a woman named Sarah Maclean. My mom won the session at a silent auction and she was supposed to go with me, but something came up and Joshua took her place. I am so so glad that he did. This was such a wonderful, life-enriching experience. The teacher, Sarah, was one of the founding educators for the Deepak Chopra institute, she also left everything behind to stay in India for 6 months, and was a resident at a zen buddhist training center for two years. She was so wonderful. Anyway, enough gushing about her, she taught Joshua and I some lessons on meditation and on how to practice daily. She spent almost an hour and a half talking about the benefits of meditation, of which there are many, and giving us background on meditation.

I am very hopeful that with daily practice I can reduce my stress level and by doing so help with my insomnia. I know that some people feel meditation is hokey, but I really believe in it's power and I am looking forward to sharing some of positive experiences.

I know I complain about AZ a lot, but some of it is really beautiful. Sedona, where the training was held, is about an hour and a half outside of Phoenix.

We had a picnic after our training session. We just set up our blanket at some baseball field in town.

This is the view from our picnic spot.

After leaving Sedona, we drove up to Jerome. It is a little art community on the side of a mountain. This is the view from the lot where we parked.

This is what I look like when I am annoyed at having my picture taken :)

One of the artist/shop owner's backyards. This man was 87 and he rides his bike from Jerome to Sedona every day. That's like 60 miles!!! He was telling us all about the stuff he has collected and turned into art in his yard.

Then we drove to Prescott, which is a cute little town with a neat town square. We didn't stay too long because we were tired and hungry.

It was a wonderful, relaxing day for Joshua and I. We don't get to do dates very often, so this was a special treat for us. We spent a long time talking and decided that we are going to make our RV dream a go. Yes, you read correctly...WE ARE GOING TO DO IT!!!! We have two years to save money, which sounds like forever, but when you are making little money, you have to save for longer. We intend to purchase the RV after a year and spend the next year continuing to save money and fixing up the rig. I will keep everyone updated as we work towards our goal, but I KNOW we are going to make it happen. We are excited and determined :)

Happy Friday! I am off to work on my journals for Amy's art journal swap.

Wednesday Wishes and then some

2010-07-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

Hello Wednesday! I am excited that you are here because that means that Thursday is just on the horizon. Josh and I are going to a private meditation training tomorrow up north. My mom and I won it at a silent auction last November and we are finally going! Here are some wishes to keep my mind off of the excitement :)

I wish I had a shirt that said this, and the guts to actually wear it.

I wish I didn't worry so much. I think I am getting better, but I can always think of ten negatives for every positive.

I wish I had some killer dreads

Duh, a camper :)

I wish that I will continue to have the courage to make changes in my life.

Be sure to check out Courtney, Kellie, Liz and Karlie's wishes by clicking the links on the left side of my blog! All pictures above came from vi.sualize.

I didn't want to make two posts because I feel like one always ends up getting ignored. I figured I would just do a short add-on to Wednesday Wishes and show you two of our projects from this week so far.

We bakes homemade bread for Cooking on Monday! John used the measuring cups with his own bowl and thought that was pretty special. Huge mess, but it was worth it and it motivated me to mop the floor.

Serious thought

Today was our craft project day, so John made glitter art. I returned something to Michael's and got an $8.00 credit. I used it to buy a great pack of about 14 glitter shakers for $3.99 and some wooden beads for John to practice stringing. The glitter was a huge hit!

His finished product! It is going to go up in his room :)

Happy Wednesday!

What will be?

2010-07-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get panicky about life getting away from you? Lately I feel like there is so much I want to do and I am worried I won't have enough time to do it all. It is ridiculous really, because I am only 29. I am not contemplating my own mortality or anything, just realizing that eventually I may actually have to "grow up." This is especially worrying to me because I feel like I might not have really fully experienced being a youngish person. I was always too "mature" for my age, too scared, too focused on the future. Now I realize that life isn't really about the future at all, it is a great deal about the NOW. It makes me remember this Marcus Aurelius quote that I put in like every journal...

Were you to live 3,000 years or even 30,000, remember that the sole life which a man can lose is that which he is living at the moment; and further more, that he can have no other life except the one he loses. This means that the longest life and the shortest amount to the same thing. For a passing minute is every man's equal possession, but what has gone by is not ours. Our loss, therefore, is limited to that one fleeting instant, since no one can lose what is already past nor yet what is still to come - for how can he be deprived of what he does not possess?

If that is really true, and I think I believe that it is, then I shouldn't be wasting one single minute. I should be dreaming, planning and then actually doing what fills my heart. We should be living our dreams right now, as opposed to waiting for the perfect time or situation. That may never come and then I will be 60 years old instead of 30, thinking about what could have been instead of what should actually be.

I guess the question is, how do I make my dreams a reality? How do I life the life I want while also accounting for the fact that I want to have another child desperately. IVF is expensive and my pregnancy is not one that I can cover minus insurance. Adoption seems like a long shot if we are totally living outside the "norm." I don't know if my soul can wait to get going with life until I have another child, but I know that my soul cannot be full without at least trying for one more.

Who knows what the days will bring. I am so thankful that I am at least dreaming again. :)

Taking on the V-Con

2010-07-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

Yummy yummy in my tummy! This weeks recipe was Quinoa salad with Black Beans and Mango. It was so so so good and refreshing. It was still a little warm from the Quinoa cooking, so I think it will be even better tomorrow after it chills overnight.
The recipe calls for:
2c Quinoa
1 Mango
1 Can of Black Beans
Scallions
Red Wine Vinegar
Oil
Salt
1 Bell Pepper
Cilantro

I ended up using a nectarine because I didn't have a mango and I added onions because we have a million from our garden.

Sorry this picture is sideways. It is saved correctly, but loaded wrong. I don't know how

to fix it :(

Add all of the ingredients minus the quinoa, which should be cooking on the stove. Add the quinoa and then let everything chill before serving. The awesome thing about this recipe is that you can pretty much add anything that you think would taste good. I even felt comfortable playing with ingredients and measurments, which I rarely ever do.
Doesn't it look gorgeous and delicious? Perfect for a hot AZ evening.

John loved it too! He came in from playing outside, hence the sweaty hair, and went right to work eating it all up :)

Happy Tuesday!

Yessss!

2010-07-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

How spectacular would this RV be for our travels? It is only $3,900 dollars. It's probably a disaster on wheels, but I am in looooove

Pirate Radio

2010-07-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

Joshua and I watched this movie last night and we LOVED it. It is one that I would buy and watch over and over and over again. It was funny and sweet with killer good music. Josh wants to buy the soundtrack right this second...he has to settle for checking it out at the library.

The movie is about a British pirate radio station in the 60's. I guess in like 1966 radio stations only played about an hour of rock and roll per day. So ships would dock off of the coast of England and broadcast rock and roll 24 hours a day. The movie is about one particular ship, and one politician's battle to shut down the whole pirate radio system. Kenneth Branagh is the politician, and as usual he plays such a spectacular D-Bag.

Anyway, I give this movie 4 The Who records out of 4!

Phil, you know I love you!

Crappy Blogger of the month

2010-07-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should be getting an award for being crappy blogger of the month. I love blogging but I am at a total lack of ideas on what to write. I am pretty excited about my new blog because it fits in really well with the stage that I am in at the moment.
Right now I am just consumed with my family, self improvement and ideas for our future. I don't even know if any of that is interesting enough to write about. I try not to focus on what people might want to read, but obviously I wouldn't be posting stuff so publicly if I didn't hope someone might be interested.
Plus, I am full of big dreams right now... big hopes that are scary and exciting and seemingly impossible, but I want them to come true anyway. I am trying desperately to convince Josh that instead of buying a house in a few years, we should just buy an RV or camper. Maybe he could find some kind of employment that would allow us to travel and be Gypsy's. I mean, I don't think we need a lot of money to be happy, we are proving that right now. We need food, shelter, clothes and ways to educate ourselves. Internet is nice, but we could always use wi-fi at places. We would obviously need to have enough money set aside to take care of emergencies, specifically medical, but mechanical as well. I can make toys and educational items or buy them at thrift stores and second hand places. I don't know...I know there is a lot that I am not thinking of. I just desperately want to live outside the box. I want to be free and really LIVE and I know that we aren't going to be able to do that where we are forever.
Who knows, tomorrow I might want safety and security, but I doubt it. I feel like a new, fresh wind is blowing and I want to follow it wherever it leads.
So, once again, this post is all over the place. Bear (or bare?) with me as I continue to grow and learn and decide what I want.

Perfecting the Art of Being Poor

2010-07-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

I started another blog, here. I am starting to realize that being poor can almost be an adventure if you figure out how to do it correctly. I figured, why not document it as I journey my way throught figuring out how to make a lot out of almost nothing.
We'll see how it goes :)

Tattoo Bonanza

2010-07-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about tattoos, piercings and dreads...mainly tattoos. I have wanted mine for so long and funds just keep getting in the way. I found some pictures on weheartit and vi.sualize that show tattoos I love and some that I think are awful. Here they are...

I think this little robot is so sweet. For some reason it just makes me think of John.

Gorgeous!

If I saw this person on the street I think I would make a scene laughing so hard. The sentiment is nice, but the execution is horrific.

I think this may be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

All right friends, I hope you are all getting prepared for a lovely weekend!

Happy Friday!

The Rhythm of our week so far...

2010-07-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

John and I have had such an awesome week this week. I think I mentioned earlier about the daily rhythm and how each day has an activity. Here are a few pictures of our activities so far :)

Monday was cooking day. John and I made pizza dough from scratch and then cooked ourselves a pizza. He loved getting his hands all messy.

Our pizza when it was finished cooking. Daiya cheese and sun dried tomatoes...yummmm
Eating after all of his hard work

This morning we went on a "nature" walk around our neighborhood. He brought along a little starfish, octopus and spider.

Carrying his little bag of treasures...rocks, sticks, pinecones

Then this afternoon we made playdough out of sand, water and cornstarch. It was so easy to make and John thought it was so cool to play with the sand inside the house. Plus, after a few hours in the sun the sculptures dry and turn hard.

I made John's initials and a small candle holder for our nature table.

Tuesday was daddy time and he didn't get any pictures. I guess they went and walked around Lowe's for like an hour. That is such a man thing to do. Tuesday night Josh and I cut up some old pine branches we had for firewood. He cut them into disks and I sanded them down. Now John has some awesome blocks made right from our own yard. I will take pictures and post them later.

Tomorrow is a creative play day, so I am going to finish sewing John a cape to wear around the house.

Happy Wednesday!

Wednesday Wishes

2010-07-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that I am a vegan, and usually I think that is the easiest decision in the whole world. Every once in a while though, I come across something that I really really wish had a vegan alternative. It never makes me want to convert back to non-veganism, but it does make me wish and long for cheap, easy vegan alternatives.

Here are just a few things that I wish I could purchase just as cheaply vegan as I could purchase them conventionally.

Wool for knitting. I don't knit, but I wish I could purchase an adequate synthetic substitute. John is going back into cloth diapers and wool is one of the most awesome diaper cover materials. It wicks away moisture and stays cool even in the summer.

Play silks. I have found so many low cost play silk manufacturers, I wish there were some similar ones in synthetic form. I should say though, that I was going through my fabrics and found some window sheers that might just do the trick once dyed.

The circus. I HATE the circus now that I know what it is really about, but boy did I think it was magic as a kid. I wish there was a travelling cruelty free circus so that John could experience that feeling.

Birkenstocks... I have a pair of Earth Vegan shoes that are very similar to Birks, but they aren't nearly as comfortable. Hopefully I will find the perfect pair someday.

Beeswax molding material. This can be used for crafts and candles. Soy will work too I think, but i haven't found it in nearly as many pretty colors. I will have to keep trying to find what else I can use.

Alright, those are my wishes for this week.

Check out Courtney, Kellie, Karlie and Liz's wishes by clicking the links at the right side of my blog.

Happy Wednesday!

Taking on the V-Con Week 4

2010-07-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling like I offer too many applogies lately, but it is time to issue another one. I tried the recipe for this week. It was Lost Coconut Custart Pie. It sounds delicious right? I wouldn't know because I didn't get to eat mine. Insert frown here.

I decided to make the pie on Sunday before we went to a friend's house. I gathered up all of the ingredients, minus the agar powder because I had none. I figured maaaybe I could fudge my way through without it. When I started cooking I panicked because everything had to be continuously stirred. I am not the greatest multi-tasker or cook, so I didn't get any pictures because I was trying to keep crap from burning.

Then the poor pie was like a liquid disaster. I let it cool for a while and then stuck it in my mom's fridge. I didn't have time to wait because we had to get over to our friend's house. I didn't take pictures of this mess because it looked disgusting.

Apparently, as an added dessert bonus, the pie tipped over in my mom's fridge and sent liquid coconut custard all over the fridge. Bummer.

Sooo, I will be attempting this one again when I get some agar powder.

Take a look at Courtney and Rikki's blogs if you want to see how this deliciousness should have turned out.

P.S. I have no idea why the above passage is underlined, nor do I know how to remove it.

Versatile Blogger Award

2010-07-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

I was given blog awards by both Courtney and Rikki! Thank you ladies, you are two of my favorite people in this whole wide world.

The rules are that you have to list 7 things about yourself and nominate 15 other bloggers.

Here are my 7 Facts:

1. I tried to dread my hair about a month and a half after John was born. I was so excited but it turned out soooo bad, all loose and the wax went on wrong. Plus it took FOREVER and with a 6 week old at home and major sleep deprivation it was a disaster. I literally took kitchen sheers to my head in frustration. However, as soon as I have the funds to get them done professionally, I am getting those bad boys put back in.

2. I am deathly afraid of cockroaches. Like, run out of a room screaming afraid.

3. I hate talking on the phone more than just about anything. I will text all day long, but I don't like to chat over the phone. Joshua, on the other hand is a gabber, so I am always trying to find nice ways to end phone conversations with him quickly.

4. I only have half a uterus. It is a birth defect and a rare one at that. Every time I went to the hospital while I was pregnant the nurses would ask me if I meant I had a bicornate uterus, which I don't, and how I ended up with only half. It got super irritating and I always felt like they were looking at me as if I had no idea what I was talking about.

5. I am almost exactly the opposite of who I was in high school. I like who I am now so much better.

6. I could eat avocados every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of them.

7. I hate to wear socks.

Ok, I had sort of a difficult time thinking of 7 interesting things. I hope other people's are more interesting :)

I nominate anyone who wants to share 7 things about themselves! If you haven't come up with your list of 7 do it now! :)

Happy Tuesday :)

Recap

2010-07-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

It has been an eventful couple of days for my little family. Before I get into pictures and such, I am excited to tell you about a little change happening around our place. When we had John, we were adamant about not having a lot of branded toys or things that are electronic. We really wanted him to grow up using his imagination and not playing with toys that make imagining difficult. We decided that John wouldn't be allowed to watch tv or play video games. We really just wanted him to grow up in a simpler life, more reminiscent of what his grandparents may have grown up with. Unfortunately, once he started getting bigger, I got sucked into all of the bells and whistles. I saw how excited he got about things that light up and toys that talk. Buzz Lightyear became a friend and he is around every corner waiting to be purchased.
Last week though, it was like a light bulb went off. I realized that I wasn't doing the things that I felt we wanted and needed to be done. I found this awesome blog, Childhood Magic, that broke me out of my stupor and reminded me of how I wanted to John to grow. So after talking with Josh, I spent Friday cleaning and purging all of the the unwanted/unnecessary toys from our collections. Anything, with the exception of one tractor, requiring batteries was weeded out. Along with 95% of our branded toys. It may sound extreme to some, but I KNOW that this is the right move for our little family. We have very little money anyway, so spending it on toys and junk is really unnecessary. This week I am going to post a freecycle ad and get rid of the extra stuff. There are going to be quite a few other changes as well, and I am excited to document them here. I should also mention that John Deere tractors don't fall into our branded list. He loves them so much and there are hundreds around the house because his pappy collects them. So when you see pictures of them later, don't think I am a hypocrite :)

And now...on to the fun weekend. :)

We spent Thursday night at my mom's house swimming and playing. We even brought our pooch along for the evening. John thought it was hilarious that Wickett rode in the car with us.

After cleaning all day, Josh made us some raw "burgers" from the Thrive book. It is all ground nuts and oils and it is pure ecstacy.

We also had corn. John helped me shuck it. I am letting him help out in the kitchen and he is a great helper.

Saturday we went to a vegan BBQ at Green with Rikki and Tim. It was great food and we met some other friends along the way. We moved two tables together and it made it sort of a fun communal atmosphere.

After the BBQ we went to Rikki and Tim's for board games and Beer. We ended up playing Taboo and it was hysterical. Vegan was even one of the cards!

Then we just sat around and talked.

On Sunday we visited our friends for 4th of July. They aren't vegan, but they went out of their way to cook an all vegan friendly meal. It was one of the nicest things ever.

He BBQ'd the corn and it was great. He also made eggplant burgers, which I will be recreating very soon because they were so yummy.

John had the most wonderful time running around their property being a crazy, dirty, rascally little boy.

And then ate an awesome dinner with all of us.

It has been a great few days, but I am tired :) Ihope everyone else had an awesome weekend!

The Crazies

2010-07-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching this one. I heard it was good, but was prepared to be disappointed. I was happily surprised when I thoroughly enjoyed it and was even the tiniest bit scared. Not only was it a horror moview, but it included one of my favorite scary elements, fear of the government. I am by no means a crazy conspiracy theorist, but I always believe there is so much going on that is not actually meant to protect us.

Anyway, Timothy Olyphant was good. I think he is a pretty underused actor. I am not a big fan Radha Mitchell, but she was not too bad in this movie.

All in all, I think I'd give it three bloody pitchforks out of four.

Wednesday Wishes

2010-06-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

This Wednesday I decided to focus on some art/craft supplies that I would love to have in my craft area. Of course, number one on the list would be to have a bigger craft area, but I don't have a picture for that :)

Lot's O' Martha Stewart glitter. I am on the Martha bandwagon for sure. I have been since I was in high school (source)

This book would be an awesome addition to my art journaling supply collection! I can't remember where I found the picture but I think it's pretty funny.

Random paper goods for my art journals. (source)

Tons and tons and tons of embroidery thread. I can't get enough. (source)

Of course, with all of that thread I would need a load of new hoops. (source)

This card catalogue would be a perfect way to organize a lot of my crap, and it is so pretty. (source)

What craft room could be complete without buttons? (source)

Those are my wishes for this week. Frivolous, I know, but fun none the less :)

Do you all have any wishes this week?

Be sure to check out Courtney, Kellie, Liz and Karlie's wishes. I have links for their blogs on the left side of my blog.

Happy Wednesday!

Craft Swap Blues

2010-06-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

Ok folks, I am about to admit something terrible, awful, horrible...I am a moron.

Last month I joined a craft swap with a camping theme. I was/am super excited and I thought long and hard about what my craft would be. I finally settled on a version of BINGO that I would call CAMPO. I drew all of the little items on one bingo card. Quite a stretch for me because drawing is not one of my talents. I was excited to push myself and try something new.

I think that the little drawings turned out well for my mediocre skill.

Once I had the CAMPO card made, I made enough copies to give each of the 16 people 4 cards. Then I started coloring. It felt like it took forever, but I finally got all 64 cards colored.

After coloring them, I mounted them all on different colored card stock.

And laminated each one with contact paper

I cut each one out and I think they look awesome.

What is the problem, you may ask? If you think they look good why did you start laughing at your error when you were supposed to be falling asleep last night?

The problem is that they cannot be used as CAMPO/BINGO cards because every single card LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME!!!!

Duh, Katie. Bingo needs to have the objects in different places so that only one or two people can get BINGO at the same time. Go ahead, have a laugh at my expense, my whole family has :)

Sooo, I have decided that I will make a little note for each pack that explains how they can be used as scavenger hunt cards. The first person to find four in a row/corners/blackout is the winner. Different people may spot different items around the campsite, or maybe even limit it to other peoples sites that can be seen from your own site. Who knows? What I do know is that it is too late to do all the work, so now it is time to improvise :)

I hope that little story cheered you all up. It gave my mom a good laugh.

Taking on the V-Con Week 3

2010-06-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

This week's recipe is Braised Seitan with Brussels, Kale, and Sun Dried Tomatoes.

The ingredients:

2 Tbsp olive oil

6 shallots, sliced thinly

2 c. seitan cut into bite sized pieces

1/2lb brussel sprouts, quartered
4 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp dried tarragon
1/2 tsp salt
Several pinches of freshly ground pepper
1/2c sun dried tomatoes, chopped into bite sized pieces
2c vegetable broth
1/4c red wine
4c chopped kale

My ingredients, sorry for the awful glare, someday I will get the hang of good pictures :)

First, saute the seitan and shallots for a few minutes until the seitan is slightly browned. My seitan was a little weird and kind of turned into an odd ground beefy texture. After 7-8 minutes add in the brussel sprouts and let them saute for a few minutes.

Next, you are going to add the spices and garlic, then the sun dried tomatoes.
Add the broth and wine and bring to a boil, then add the kale. Once the kale is wilted, turn down the heat and simmer for 5-7 minutes.

I cooked a bit of pasta to eat along with this recipe and it was delicious. John loved the brussel sprouts and sun dried tomatoes. He ate a lot of the stew and left the pasta sitting by itself on the side of the plate. I think this would have been perfect if my seitan had been more chunky than crumbly. All in all, I think this one was a success!

Be sure to check out Courtney and Rikki's takes on this recipe. Let us know what you think about this feature. I am going to keep cooking my way through this book either way, but if you aren't interested let me know and I will change up the feature :)

Happy Tuesday!

We Keep Coming Back to These Two Hearts

2010-06-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

I have had lots of people ask me how I met my husband, it's a pretty standard getting to know you questions, so I figured I would do a little post on it

.
Joshua and I met during our sophomore year in high school. We had an English class together and we sort of became friends. He was always really goofy and dressed oddly, but he was a really, genuinely nice guy, which can be hard to come by in high school. He originally took my best friend to a dance, but he was to strange for her. She hid in a bathroom almost the whole time :) Then he and I started talking more and ended up going to a dance together. He asked me out on Valentines Day right after the dance. I still actually have the balloon he sent me when he asked me out :) Despite his sweet beginnings, it did not work out and I broke up with him repeatedly. He says it was 8 times, I say it was 3 or 4. We stayed friends though and talked throughout high school. We even went to another dance together, which is what the picture above came from.

Then during the summer after our senior year, the girl he was dating broke it off so he had an extra ticket to see Cher and Cyndi Lauper. I went with him and had a great time, but left for college shortly after. In October someone called me at my dorm and asked what my room number was, without thinking I told the stranger. Then I freaked out because I was sure it was a killer/rapist. The stranger knocked on the door and covered the peephole, so I couldn't see who it was. I opened the door and it was Joshua looking so cute. He was visiting someone and decided to drop in and say hello to me too. I was in a sorority at the time and I asked him to come up and be my date to a function, still just as friends. He was my date and everyone loved him. When I went home the next time we watched Ten Things I Hate About You and he gave me a kiss, but the didn't call me for over a month.

When I came home for Christmas break we started dating and became "official" on December 17th 1999. By January I know that I loved him, but we waited until April to say the words. We got engaged on December 24th 2000, but had to wait for my parents approval to get married. They wanted me to finish college first, but eventually took pity on us. We got married September 19th 2003.

Engagement Pictures

One of the few wedding pictures that is stored on my computer.

Anyway, that's our story. I would LOVE to read about how you all met your loves.

Happy Monday!

2010-06-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

We went camping on from Thursday through Saturday afternoon and had a wonderful time. The camping spot we were originally going to go to was wayyyy to hot, so we ended up at one further north. There was a creek running right behind the site and there was no one behind us, so we had the woods and creek all to ourselves. I can't lie though, it wasn't all perfect. John WOULD NOT go to sleep in the tent. It took us about three hours each night to get him to bed which was incredibly frustrating, but we got through it. Here are about a million pictures :)

This was at the first spot

I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I think my husband is one hot dad :)

The campsite and our trashtastic Volvo

AHHHHHAAAHAHAHAAH! This was in a parking lot in Payson.

The ranger station

The creek behind out camp spot

Josh made us an awesome stew for dinner.

My dad came up and met us on Friday night. Can you tell that John thinks his Pap is the greatest person ever.

Happy Saturday!

Wednesday Wishes

2010-06-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

Oh Wednesday, you cheer me up this week. I am happy to provide some wishes and think about things that make me happy.

I wish I could get on an airplane and fly to PA to visit my whole family of wonderful people. I went every summer for about ten years when I was a kid and they are some of my very best memories. I miss my aunts, uncles and cousins and I wish John and Josh could have some more time with them all too.

Ahhh, I wish I had this hoodie in my size, but I would take it for John too.

I wish I could recreate this radical photo with my kid. He is horrible to photograph because he almost never stops moving.

I wish that people didn't think that being older than me guarantees them a certain amount of respect. I am sorry, but i am almost 30 years old, that is old enough to decide who deserves respect and who doesn't. If you are rude and inappropriate with me, I am not going to give you respect even if you are 15 years older than me.

All photos are from vi.sualize

Be sure to check out Kellie, Courtney, Liz and Karlie's wishes too :)

*** Josh, John and I are going camping for three days. That means no phone and no Internet. I am so so so excited to have some uninterrupted quality time with my boys***

Taking on the V-Con (Week 2)

2010-06-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

Hello Tuesday, I wasn't really ready for you yet, but you came around anyway.

This week's recipe is for Snobby Joe's, the V-Con version of sloppy Joe's. The recipe features lentils instead of meat and a decent homemade sauce.

Rikki and I both had less than stellar results from our takes on this recipe, but Courtney liked hers after a bit of tweaking. I am still new enough to the cooking world that I get kind of nervous changing things up . I am hoping to get better about adding my own creative flair as I get more experience cooking different things in the kitchen. Having said all of that, I will definitely make these again. John was super excited about his sammich and I enjoyed mine too even if it wasn't perfect.

Some of my ingredients... I didn't include my spices and I didn't use bell peppers because I can't stand them. On a side note, we went to Rikki's last week for dinner and had some roasted bell peppers that were delicious. I may have to revisit my pregnancy induced aversion to bell peppers soon...but not today :)

Sauteeing the onions and garlic. I love the way those veggies smell when they are cooking.

Cooking up all of the ingredients...it looks like lentils in spaghetti sauce, but I promise it is Snobby Joe's.

The finished product. I included a picture of my beer because I am proud to be expanding my horizons in the beer tasting arena. I am normally a Coors Light kind of girl, but I want to be a woman with refined tastes haha.

Be sure to check out Rikki and Courtney's blogs to see their takes on this recipe, and to see some much better quality pics :)

Happy Tuesday! See you tomorrow for Wednesday Wishes and then I am off for a few days to do some camping.