Saturday, July 31, 2010
In more positive news... LADY GAGA IS TONIGHT!!!! I am bursting with excitment even though it is going to be so so hard to leave my boy with daddy and pappy. I know they will take excellent care of him, but it's me he wants when he is sick :( I am absolutely determined to enjoy my time with my little sister and take in every detail of the show. I will have lots of pictures to share (hopefully) tomorrow :0
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I am laying here in bed playing on the computer and I am honestly scared to go to sleep. I am terrified that he will get sick and I won't know, which is virtually impossible as I am the lightest sleeper ever and our rooms are connected. Logically, I know that he is going to be ok, but I just can't get over it.
Hopefully we will all get some sleep and J-man will be ok through the night.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
That's how I have been feeling lately. Not dissatisfied with my life in any way, just feeling like I am missing something that really must be done.
I think part of it is our RV dream. I wish we could just go, now now now. I know that it isn't feasible or responsible, but I am so scared that if we wait we will find reasons not to do it. What if we never feel like we have enough money? Should that really stop us? I mean, as long as we can take care of the basics and have something set aside for emergencies, isn't that all we really need? What if something happens to one of us in the next 2-3 years and we spend the rest of our lives worrying about what might have been? I have never really been a carpe diem kind of girl, but now that I am trying, I feel like life is holding me back and saying "not yet, just a little longer."
I am also longing to get more information on Waldorf and Unschooling practices. I have been reading a ton of blogs, which are so valuable. However, I feel like those families already know what they are doing on their journey. How in the world did they get their information? How far behind am I? Am I going to get this right? I have found some wonderful books online and even a few workshops, but everything is so costly. Our libraries, the local and the city ones, have virtually no information on the alternative schooling that we are going to be following. It is such a big responsibility to go against every single socially accepted education standard and say, I KNOW in my heart I am right. Now I need to know in my brain that I am right, and I need to get some of this information to do so.
Also, I have been going back and forth on the etsy front. I don't know if it is really worth the effort. Should I make a post with some samplings of crafts and stuff? Maybe people would be honest and tell me if I have a shot? Are there other ways to sell your goods? I am shooting in the dark here people. I need to find some ways to make extra moolah to get us started on some of the above goals, but I am totally at a loss on where to start.
Anyway, all of this is invading my brain. I need to go take a hot bath and meditate and then get some scheduling done. John is still chattering in his bed an hour after I put him down. It is both funny and frustrating. At least he isn't yelling for me :)
3. Time to meditate twice per day. It is sooo important to me, but I have such a hard time creating the opportunity. It's not something I can do when John is awake, and it is hard for me to do it while he naps because I am convinced he will wake up at any moment. I am going to keep working on it though.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Maybe it's the heat, maybe it's that Whole Foods had no Sweet Potatoes. I don't know. What I know is that next week is a Cheezy Mac recipe and I am all over that one!
Sorry to my girls for being a flake.
Monday, July 26, 2010
So, here is what I know right now...
1. This is what I am thinking the first book should be...
I read it a looong time ago, and I think it is worth another look. Plus, I know a few ladies already have this at home and have expressed interest.
2. I have a list of discussion questions that I will email out once I have a list of who is participating. I will send them ahead of time so we can think about them as we are reading.
3. I think that for the first book, we should shoot to have it finished by August 31st. I know that seems like a long time but I know everyone has lots of things going on besides reading an assigned book.
4. Here is where it gets tricky...I don't know how to create a forum to actually "discuss" the book. We could do it via email through reply to all emails. I think that might be the easiest way. I am not computer savvy enough to create a message board or something of that nature.
5. If it doesn't work out or if it is stressful or annoying, then we can either call it off or restructure it. The bottom line is that I just like the idea of sharing good books and different points of view.
Questions? Interested? Is this worth it or too complicated?
Let me know :)
One of the things that I am trying to do is find a retirement/nursing home for John and I to visit on a weekly basis. This is turning out to be more challenging than I thought it might be. I called 6 nursing homes today and did not get to speak to any of their volunteer coordinators. How sad is it that the residents might miss out on the chance to hang out with a joyful child because no one is there to talk to volunteers. Oh, they all had coordinators, it's just that none of them were available to talk to me.
Does anyone out there have volunteer idea that you might do on your own or as a family? It has been weighing on my mind lately that we have been given so many gifts/blessings (whatever you want to call them) but we don't do much to give back.
Let me know what you do! I am so interested
Sunday, July 25, 2010
- Lose 20lbs
- Cook 5 times per week for at least a month
- Read all of the books on my bookshelf
- Smile at a stranger every day (so far so good)
- Attend an outdoor concert
- Attend at least 10 protests
- Organize my house
- Cancel junk mail
- Floss daily
- Keep up with my blog
- Put pics in photo albums
- Learn to use a manual camera
- Write in John's memory book at least once per week
- Video John weekly
- Go on an overnight trip with Josh
- Be thankful at least once daily (in progress)
- Try a screen printing project
- Go on a hike that seems difficult
- Go out with a friend
- Go to a roller derby
- Decorate for every holiday for a year
- Join and attend a playgroup
- Go see the leaves change up north
- Go camping for at least 2 nights
- Have a picnic
- Fly a kite
- Reread Atlas Shrugged
- Cook a vegan Christmas dinner
- Join a book club
- Go rapelling
- Visit CA family
- Visit SMoCA
- Ride our bikes to the park
- Follow a budget
- Watch a Miracle on 34th St.
- Perform an RAK
- Take John to Phoenix Children's Museum
- Attend a play at Gammage
- Go to a bar
- Have a fire in the fire pit
- Watch Citizen Kane
- Go to Lilith Fair (Going to Lady Gaga instead)
- Frame our Haiti Pics
- Go to Vegas
- Make at least 10 things
- Vote in a local election
- Go to ThanksLiving
- Peel out in a car
- Play in the rain/mud
- Start a new family tradition
- Make a new friend
- Walk to the store
- Make John a quilt
- Watch a movie starting with every letter
- Try a new fruit
- Do something completely selfless
- Shop at a farmer's market
- Write a story
- Dress up
- Embroider a bag
- Learn to use my sewing machine proficiently
- Make rock candy
- Have a 30th birthday party with Josh
- Surprise Josh with something
- Start a garden
- Learn to walk in heels
- Attend a WV event
- Work on my red journal
- Color an entire coloring book
- Attend a letter writing event at Green
- Have $1,000 in savings
- By everything in cash for at least a month (well beyond a month already)
- Fill out appropriate sections of my life
- Go to PA
- Potty train John
- Plant a tree
- Write Josh a love letter
- Exercize regularly
- Take an online class
- Get a tattoo
- Get my nose pierced
- Use a clothesline to dry
- Eat RAW for a month
- See a movie at MadCap
- See Rocky Horror Picture Show live
- Have a baby
- Pay back mom and Jan
- Visit a Buddhist Temple
- Dye my hair
- Recreate my first date with Josh
- Organize my ipod
- Move into our own place (this has changed)
- Help mom clean her garage
- Have a garage sale
- Have a celebration for completing my goals
I have until the end of November 2012! I need to get it in gear and get going
Saturday, July 24, 2010
John got his first pair of "sceesers" or scissors for those of you who don't speak toddler. He is very proud and is having fun cutting up any paper we will give him or he can steal.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A Weeping Willow tree. I just think they are so gorgeous and soulful.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
1. The meditation class we took gave me new tools to use to fight stress, and hopefully my insomnia.
2. John is just the absolute perfect child for our family.
3. Josh and I have worked through the issues we were having and have grown stronger yet again :)
4. I am becoming the mother that I know I am capable of being
5. I am starting to make new friends who like me for me
6. Adding a rhythm to our week has made life so much less stressful. We always have something to look forward to.
7. Lady Gaga is in like 2 weeks!
8. We are going to be living in our RV in t-minus two years! Amazing!
9. Josh got promoted, already
10. I am taking steps to building a waldorf-inspired homeschool/unschool program for John.
11. My foot is feeling better
12. It is halfway through July, which means summer is that much closer to being over
13. We got reapproved for our insurance, which is HUGE for our family
14. Somehow we always have just enough to make it
15. My family and I are all healthy and happy.
I could go on and on, but these are all pretty important things going on in our lives right now. I am just so grateful for the positivity that seems to have enveloped our home. When I was at the meditation class the teacher told us something pretty insightful. She said that when you are little you feel like the world is all happening for you, everything wonderful is meant just for you. As you get older, you start to feel like the world is happening to you, everything bad just seems to fall your way. I am realizing, and this list helps me remember, that the world isn't happening for me or to me, it is what I make it. I have the power to look at each thing happening in my life and to decide how to react. I am hoping that I will continue to react thankfully and take each obstacle as it comes.
GOALS: (Just a quick list of what needs to be done sooner rather than later)
1. Finish Art Journals for swap
2. Make John's cardboard tractor
3. Help dad/Josh make John's enclosed step stool
4. Sell toys at consignment
5. Take a specific class by this weekend
6. Cut some more blocks and add holes for construction
7. Finish pen pal letters, although they are never really finished because there is always a new one to reply to thank goodness :)
8. Create a book club for some blog friends and I
9. Start my Visionary Mom's Class
10. Create a kitchen play set for John
Wow, this post was long and random as usual.
I hope everyone had a great Tuesday!
The recipe calls for roasting them in the oven, but it is too freaking hot for that right now. We didn't want our ancient stove to heat up the whole kitchen, so Josh took one for the team and grilled them. Actually, he left them in the pyrex, covered them with foil, and then put them on the grill. I think it took about 30 minutes at 400 on our grill. I am not entirely sure though because I was chasing my little guy around the backyard.
When they were finished we had portobello burgers! We added a few toppings and had some delicious corn as a side. Wonderful!
I think this is going to be a recipe that we use a lot over the summer. It was fast, cheap and easy...my three favorite ingredients in any meal :)
Monday, July 19, 2010
A few years ago Josh and I bought one of the most awesome books ever, When I Knew. It is basically just a buch of short essays/paragraphs about how all of these people knew they were gay. I just found the book and figured I would share one of the stories. Maybe I will share more from time to time.
My father was watching the evening news. The announcer said that Judy Garland had died. I fainted. I was nine. - Andrew Freedman
I LOVE this book :)
Friday, July 16, 2010
On Thursday Joshua and I went to a private meditation training session with a woman named Sarah Maclean. My mom won the session at a silent auction and she was supposed to go with me, but something came up and Joshua took her place. I am so so glad that he did. This was such a wonderful, life-enriching experience. The teacher, Sarah, was one of the founding educators for the Deepak Chopra institute, she also left everything behind to stay in India for 6 months, and was a resident at a zen buddhist training center for two years. She was so wonderful. Anyway, enough gushing about her, she taught Joshua and I some lessons on meditation and on how to practice daily. She spent almost an hour and a half talking about the benefits of meditation, of which there are many, and giving us background on meditation.
I am very hopeful that with daily practice I can reduce my stress level and by doing so help with my insomnia. I know that some people feel meditation is hokey, but I really believe in it's power and I am looking forward to sharing some of positive experiences.I know I complain about AZ a lot, but some of it is really beautiful. Sedona, where the training was held, is about an hour and a half outside of Phoenix.
Then we drove to Prescott, which is a cute little town with a neat town square. We didn't stay too long because we were tired and hungry.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I wish I had a shirt that said this, and the guts to actually wear it.